Christmas comes each year to draw people in from the cold.
Like tiny frightened sparrows, shivering in the winter cold, many live their lives on the barren branches of heartbreak, disappointment, and loneliness, lost in thoughts of shame, self-pity, guilt, or failure. One blustery day follows another, and the only company they keep is the fellow-strugglers who land on the same branches, confused and unprotected.
We try so hard to attract them into the warmth. Week after week church bells ring. Choirs sing. Preachers preach. Lighted churches send out their beacon. But nothing seems to bring in those who need warmth the most.
Then, as the year draws to a close, Christmas offers its wonderful message. Immanuel. God with us. He who resided in Heaven, co-equal and co-eternal with the Father and the Spirit, willingly descended into our world. He breathed our air, felt our pain, knew our sorrows, and died for our sins. He didn't come to frighten us, but to show us the way to warmth and safety. . . .
So, this Christmas season I pray that the warmth of the Savior's love will spread itself over you as never before. And that whenever and however possible, you will keep reminding yourself that there are still tiny, shivering sparrows who are too terrified to come in from the cold. Maybe, just maybe, this Christmas, because of something you do or say . . . they will.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
So... Which One, Is You?
It is not hard to spot elitists, they abound in every corner of the Philippines. For the sake of perspective however, let me still define it to you: elitists are those who rant about how other people act so proletariat. A person who believes himself to rank highly in the caste, and displays this self-belief by mocking those who he thinks is lower than him. Hence, elitism is a form of social discrimination. The story above is a prime example. But how much of this trait rests in us?
Jolog Elitists...
The jolog elitist is still in the initial stages of elitism; he therefore acts poorly with it. For some weird reason - an MLM scam, winning a game show, winning the jueteng jackpot or the lottery - he instantly became rich and he feels the need to brag. He spreads his cash and goes around fanning it to himself.
On certain occasions he may opt to slap someone with it. Inside he feels as if he had broken from the clutches of poverty and never will he return to it. He decides to do what is most prevalent of the rich - despise the poor. However his lack of social pedigree threatens the very nature of his power.
The Jolog Elitist is not a good courtier and he makes more enemies than friends. A means to an end, for as the Jolog Elitist cultivates envy among his peers so too does he spell his death. Pretty soon, if he is not killed by a neighbor, an in-law, or a drinking buddy, he will still have used up all his money giving gin-pomelo parties and buying song hits with his new BFF, Mila.
Pseudo-Conio/Conio Elitists...
The middle class work hard for their money, it is their only excuse for acting rich. And why not? You yourself wouldn't act impoverished if you were entitled to liquidity. Therefore the pseudo-conio elitist tries too hard to be as much a courtier of the rich as they are themselves, sometimes to the point of over acting. As work is the pseudo-conio elitist's excuse, it too is his weapon towards reaching the higher caste.
He learns to multi-task, a trait he read from "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" ...a book every yuppie has read. He drowns himself in grammar and tries to pronounce every english word correctly but he does not care about difference between the tagalog words' "ng" and "nang." After all, the rich does not care for that sort of stuff. He gives friendster testimonials flooded with the words "uber" and "epitomy;" little does he know he was using the previous wrongly and that the latter was mispelled.
He concerns himself with traffic and how beggars abound the city streets. This when he opts to knock at his car window when the beggar nears it dismissing the fact that they need help for the hypothesis that they are part of a syndicate.
Among the other things he is concerned about is how flooded it is, or how stupid filipino movies are - all without dwelling into a possible solution. The pseudo-conio/conio elitist is a rant machine.Iho de PutasThe iho de puta is born of luxury; he was blessed with already rich parents. He was raised by a yaya, went to a good school, made friends with future politicians, and gets the best seats in parties and strip clubs.
The Iho de Puta...
Shun from all forms of poverty even as it sets outside the village walls. His parents have made arrangements for him not to be in the presence of the lower class. If there was no driver, there was a school bus. If there was no school bus, his yaya would call a taxi. If there was no taxi, his yaya will have to wait.
It is the Iho de Putas' seclusion from poverty that keeps him protected, but it is also what makes him vulnerable. Did you ever meet the guy who managed the basketball varsity? He is rich, but he does not know how to play. Life has it going for him until he is out of his parents' shadow. That's when he gets fucked up.
Imeldific...
Glamorous, fashionable, diva-esque, trendy, sophisticated - these are the words used to describe the Imeldific. And while I consider her more to be Monarchy, I shall use this word to describe those who seem to sleep on their money. The Imeldific are those who have something to brag about ...and they do. Their arms are filled with gold, their faces lit with botox, their cars are pimped, they walk with a huge handbag.
The Imeldific owns his time and space; he controls it ...like Hiro Nakamura but with less smiling.The Imeldific sees himself as an example of greatness, which he often implies towards people. He shall be addressed with respect even if he opts to call me "boy" "hoy" "uy" "manong" and "pogi." He sees himself as a leader even if the only thing he's done prior is movies. He creates philosophies of how man should live and demands for you to listen, for he has put himself at the center. He is a facade.
Monarchs...
The supreme form of elitists; demi-gods of the conio world. The Monarch has reached what most of us could only dream of and is seen as an example of class and elegance. They promote themselves not by bragging about their fortune. They're done with that.. they see wealth from a spiritual perspective. They do not concern themselves with the poor; they have enough money to last a lifetime. And while they lurk high up in their cloud of gold, those of us who are so far below blame them for our misery ...as if all of them cheated their way to the top. It'd be up to them to prove us wrong. Why does the rich always have to prove themselves to the poor? Why not the other way around?
Jolog Elitists...
The jolog elitist is still in the initial stages of elitism; he therefore acts poorly with it. For some weird reason - an MLM scam, winning a game show, winning the jueteng jackpot or the lottery - he instantly became rich and he feels the need to brag. He spreads his cash and goes around fanning it to himself.
On certain occasions he may opt to slap someone with it. Inside he feels as if he had broken from the clutches of poverty and never will he return to it. He decides to do what is most prevalent of the rich - despise the poor. However his lack of social pedigree threatens the very nature of his power.
The Jolog Elitist is not a good courtier and he makes more enemies than friends. A means to an end, for as the Jolog Elitist cultivates envy among his peers so too does he spell his death. Pretty soon, if he is not killed by a neighbor, an in-law, or a drinking buddy, he will still have used up all his money giving gin-pomelo parties and buying song hits with his new BFF, Mila.
Pseudo-Conio/Conio Elitists...
The middle class work hard for their money, it is their only excuse for acting rich. And why not? You yourself wouldn't act impoverished if you were entitled to liquidity. Therefore the pseudo-conio elitist tries too hard to be as much a courtier of the rich as they are themselves, sometimes to the point of over acting. As work is the pseudo-conio elitist's excuse, it too is his weapon towards reaching the higher caste.
He learns to multi-task, a trait he read from "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" ...a book every yuppie has read. He drowns himself in grammar and tries to pronounce every english word correctly but he does not care about difference between the tagalog words' "ng" and "nang." After all, the rich does not care for that sort of stuff. He gives friendster testimonials flooded with the words "uber" and "epitomy;" little does he know he was using the previous wrongly and that the latter was mispelled.
He concerns himself with traffic and how beggars abound the city streets. This when he opts to knock at his car window when the beggar nears it dismissing the fact that they need help for the hypothesis that they are part of a syndicate.
Among the other things he is concerned about is how flooded it is, or how stupid filipino movies are - all without dwelling into a possible solution. The pseudo-conio/conio elitist is a rant machine.Iho de PutasThe iho de puta is born of luxury; he was blessed with already rich parents. He was raised by a yaya, went to a good school, made friends with future politicians, and gets the best seats in parties and strip clubs.
The Iho de Puta...
Shun from all forms of poverty even as it sets outside the village walls. His parents have made arrangements for him not to be in the presence of the lower class. If there was no driver, there was a school bus. If there was no school bus, his yaya would call a taxi. If there was no taxi, his yaya will have to wait.
It is the Iho de Putas' seclusion from poverty that keeps him protected, but it is also what makes him vulnerable. Did you ever meet the guy who managed the basketball varsity? He is rich, but he does not know how to play. Life has it going for him until he is out of his parents' shadow. That's when he gets fucked up.
Imeldific...
Glamorous, fashionable, diva-esque, trendy, sophisticated - these are the words used to describe the Imeldific. And while I consider her more to be Monarchy, I shall use this word to describe those who seem to sleep on their money. The Imeldific are those who have something to brag about ...and they do. Their arms are filled with gold, their faces lit with botox, their cars are pimped, they walk with a huge handbag.
The Imeldific owns his time and space; he controls it ...like Hiro Nakamura but with less smiling.The Imeldific sees himself as an example of greatness, which he often implies towards people. He shall be addressed with respect even if he opts to call me "boy" "hoy" "uy" "manong" and "pogi." He sees himself as a leader even if the only thing he's done prior is movies. He creates philosophies of how man should live and demands for you to listen, for he has put himself at the center. He is a facade.
Monarchs...
The supreme form of elitists; demi-gods of the conio world. The Monarch has reached what most of us could only dream of and is seen as an example of class and elegance. They promote themselves not by bragging about their fortune. They're done with that.. they see wealth from a spiritual perspective. They do not concern themselves with the poor; they have enough money to last a lifetime. And while they lurk high up in their cloud of gold, those of us who are so far below blame them for our misery ...as if all of them cheated their way to the top. It'd be up to them to prove us wrong. Why does the rich always have to prove themselves to the poor? Why not the other way around?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I'll Call Him Mr. Cookie...
Last saturday was Neb's event... Defiance. Neb was calling me already early in the morning to tell me that he will be checked inn at Travellers Inn at Makati Avenue. When I got home from work, took did my beauty rest and as soon as I woke up I SMS my friend Dj to meet me at greenbelt for some early bonding activity...
I woke up just in time for our meeting at Greenbelt we decided to meet at Greenbelt 3 between Lacoste and Prima Linea met each other and just decided to have a drink at CENA located at the Greenbelt II strip. I SMS Mr. Mister if he wanted to have a drink with us...
Well he said yes and he'll be coming with his friend Odj... We've already had too much to drink... That was about an 30 mins. I texted again and asked how long is it going to be? He said 30 more minutes... We all know I am not in to the waiting game... I always make it to a point to come on time or at least 10 mins early...
They came at exactly 10:30ish... Much to my surprise Mr. Mister or better yet Mr. Cookie looked really raveshing... He gained a few extra pounds at least he doesn't look dry unlike before when the last time I saw him... There was a certain glow on his face and he kept on smiling. Haay...
After a few... He said he had to go and fetch his friend at glorietta because she's going to watch with us for nebs performance... Okay go ahead, be careful I said... hehehe sweet diba!!! 15mins. has passsed and then he came with his friend. Introduced us all switched tables and we sat across from each other.
He was chatting with his friend and I was chatting with Dj and while doing that we couldnt stop gazing at each others eyes... He is amaizing... A guy who speaks fluent english, very adaptable in any social settings, sweet, caring, thoughtful and funny a kind of person I can be with... Is this for real?!
An SMS came and distracted my thoughts about Mr. Cookie...
Completely distracted my thoughts about Mr. Cookie... Oh well the sms msg. was about Neb msging about going to gov already... I then told them that it was time to go to gov. We paid the bill and eventually took a cab to the club... We stayed outside to mingle with the people who were already there. All of our friends are there already... By the time Mr. Cookie asked me to come with him inside I went ahead.
Inside gov of course I got myself a my favorite drink very refreshing... They ordered a pitcher I didnt really want to partake with there thingy since Im still gadging his lady friend... Well to me she was not all that because she looked like she was really culture shock because she hasn't been to an all gay club in her life. While on the dance floor I was chatting with my dynasty friends. I decided to get some partee, asked Wendel for it he said he'll give it to me in the restroom. Wendel went ahead and by the time I'm actually on my way there Mr. Cookie said:
Mr. Cookie: Where you going?
Charles: C. R.
Mr. Cookie: Why?
Charles: I'm going to take a leak.
Mr. Cookie: Okay balik ka kaagad ha!
Charles: Yes I will!
Deep inside... Ano ba yun?! Haay... After getting the partee went back then he said they're going to the smoking room to smoke. So I said "Sige I'll follow!"...
At the smoking room... Smoking and drinking then Dj came and said: "Ate torva ka ba?" I nodded and said yes!" Then he said: "Nakabili kana?" Pasabay naman!... Told him to get from Reinier and then he did. When he already has his... I asked Cookie if he wanted to drop he said he doesn't like to because he's staying away from it.
Mr. Cookie: Bakit bumili ka ng partee no?!
Charles: Oo... Binili kita just in case gusto mo!
Mr. Cookie: Ayoko! Diba pinagusapan nanatin yan!
Charles: Oo sabi mo ayaw mo pumartee before pero you said last na itong defiance!
Mr. Cookie: Oo pero I changed my mind!
Charles: Okay lang ba sayo na pumartee ako with Dj?! Okay din lang kung ayaw mo!
Mr. Cookie: Okay lang pero sana maisip mo madami ka mabibili kung hindi ka mag gaganyan! Sige go lang my eyes are on you! Be good...
"Be Good Ka jan?!" Heller?...
The whole night was spent together... Everywhere I went he always has a question on where am I going? etc. etc.
When it was time to go... I asked him to come to Nebs in house.
Mr. Cookie: Im sorry sweetie but Im trying to stay away from the scene...
Mr. Cookie to Odj: Odj please dont leave Charles alone... Bantayan mo siya. Wag mo sya iwanan.
Odj: I promise
He then left and we said our goodbyes. On the way to travellers...
Charles: Odj its okay I can take care of myself. If you want to go its okay...
Odj: I made a promise and I cant leave you till you go home. Mabuti na yung ganto, tsaka gusto ko rin naman makita si Neb.
On travellers during in house... odj was just sitting there miggling with the guys who are there. He didn't really left me alone. in fact he even slept over.
Morning came and then I was already planning to leave I then told Odj to go home because I will be going soon. Because I have a dinner engagement with the Dynasty. He went home then I told him to kiss him for me. I went home at 4:00pm 30 mins. After he left. As soon as I got home, took a shower and went to bed and woke up at 8pm and went back to Makati to have dinner with the Dynasty.
NEXT DAY...
Spent the whole day sleeping... Woke up in the evening... Mr. Cookie SMS:
Mr. Cookie: What time did you go home?
Charles: Few minutes after Odj did. why?
Mr. Cookie: Where you able to get some rest? What time is your work tomorrow?
Charles: 10:30pm
Mr. Cookie: Okay... Enjoy the rest of your evening rest well.
*** Written during work at 22.59B
Charles S. Baybay
+639162376121
ACCS Accenture Delivery Center in Manila
Philippines 22F Cybergate Tower2,
Pioneer Street cor. EDSA, Mandaluyong City
Email: charles.a.s.baybay@accenture
Gmail: charlesbaybay@gmail.com
Messenger: charlesbaybay
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
He Calls Me Ms. Munsi...
Last Wednesday I was just at home watching "Feels Like Heaven" at HBO then suddenly someone or should I just hide him as Mr. Mister texted me, asking me if I wanted to watch a movie and hang out... You know bonding moments.
I texted back and said:
Charles: "Ah okay what do you have in mind?"
Mr. Mister: "Is 2:00pm good time?" "Rockwell or Greenbelt?"
Charles: "2:30 is nice!"
Mr. Mister: "Great!!! See you soon".
After that SMS conversation... Thinking I have 2.5 hours to prepare. I got up and went straight for the bathroom and took a hot shower and did my usual rituals. 30 minutes has passed went back to my room lowered the volume of my T.V and played a music instead.
Dressed up and ready to go I checked my watch another SMS came:
Mr. Mister: "I'm on my way now! See you!"
Charles: "Me too."
Mr. Mister: "Oh okay we can meet early... I'll be at Glorietta do you want to meet there instead?"
Charles: "Alright?! I'll text you when I'm there okay?"
Mr. Mister: "Okay".
Gosh it felt like summer it was like super hot. Got a cab just in time but unfortunately the cab driver I got was a little grumpy because I told him I am going to Makati. He dropped me off at Robinson's Place. I went inside the mall instead of walking through Adriatico Street at 2pm. I went out at the Pedro Gil exit and took a cab there.
While in the cab: "Manong Glorietta3 sa may Fridays". Another SMS
Mr. Mister: "Resident Evil is on... Do you want me to buy tickets?"
Charles: Don't buy tickets yet I'm near."
Hehehe I'm near... I was still in Buendia that time...
Mr. Mister: "I'll be at timezone okay?"
Charles: "Alrighty I'm almost there."
Hehehe I was actually at Ayala Avenue near Shangri-la... It was raining went down at Glorietta 2. Walking towards G4... and it was already 2:45pm.
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "San kana?"
Charles: "I'm here at bibliarch!"
After 15minutes another SMS.
Mr. Mister: "Asan kana?"... I ran out of load I needed to find a loading station... By the time I reloaded another SMS came saying:
Mr. Mister: "I'm here at timezone"
Mr. Mister: "Ay gumaganti?!"
Charles: "I'm just around you okay!"
Mr. Mister: "Gumaganti!"
Charles: "I'm not like you!"
The nerve so he still remembered what he did a few months ago... when he stood me up for coffee.. This was actually during Madonnathon. I was already in front of timezone. Well honey I don't go to timezone since I am now a full grown voman.
SMS:
Charles: "I'm in front of timezone near muscle beach."
Mr. Mister: "Gumaganti kalang... Makauwi na nga!"
Charles: "I'm here near Tater's!"
My blood came rushing up my head... Talking to myself Tangina! You mean I went to G4 for nothing... I was super annoyed not annoyed, irritated. Oops irritated was not the word for that furious was actually the perfect word. I went down the escalator and walking near People are People I felt like I was going to burst in flames.
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "Nandito ako sa Tater's nasan kaba?"
Okay... Fine... So... I went back... I was back to the same escalator going up the movie house.
SMS:
Charles: "I'm here in front of Timezone!"
Mr. Mister: "Wala ka naman eh!"
Charles: "Naiinis na ako as in!!!"
Mr. Mister: "Eh nandito ako sa Timezone eh!"
I was super Grrrrrr... When I stepped back there he was...
Mr. Mister: San ka ba?
Charles: I just had to say this to you?! Sobrang naasar ako kasi I was already here kanina when you said na gumaganti ako at umuwi ka na...
Mr. Mister: Naubos yung batt ng cell ko. So I had to go to the lounge to charge my cell.
Charles: I see...
Mr. Mister: So what movie do you want to see...
Charles: Anything...
Mr. Mister: Uy sorry ha...
Charles: It's okay... it's okay...
Mr. Mister: Let's watch "Resident Evil" it's the best movie in America!
Charles: But its so action... You know killing, death, guns... I don't like too much action.
Mr. Mister: Come on... It's nice its by Mila Jovovich...
Charles: Okay lets go...
We went then and bought tickets... I was about to reach for my wallet and then he said he'll pay for it. Alrighty then so we have 1 hour and 45 minutes to waste.
Mr. Mister: Do you want to drink something or... I know ice cream?!
Charles: Ah great sige.
Shit I thought about ice cream dairy makes me gassy... So I said "tataba ako?!" then he said "Whats a few calories?" I then said Hello I have a deadline... "I'm having lemonade instead.
We went out for a smoke near Starbucks... While I was there... We did our small talks... You know like:... How are you? How's your work? When are your offs?... Blah blah blah... After the cigarette break he goes.. "Hey do you want to drink?"
Charles: Alcohol?
Mr. Mister: Yup!
Charles: Where?
Mr. Mister: @ Fridays.
Charles: Well I'm going to Government later for Dj's thingy... Aren't you going?
Mr. Mister: Yeah I am we'll go together.
Walking to Friday's we both sat at the bar...
Waiter: What can I get for you guys?
Mr. Mister: What do you want to drink?
Charles: Vodka Redbull.
Mr. Mister: I'll have 1 white russian and a vodka redbull.
Mr. Mister: Oh great... Its basket ball I like to watch this... I'm a lasalite? are you a Lasalite or an Atenean?
Charles: I'm neither of the two...
Mr. Mister: Oh where did you go?
Charles: I went to Fordham
Mr. Mister: I see... Do you like sports?
Charles: Yes but not basketball. Swimming is nice...
Mr. Mister: So are you performing at the black and white ball?
Charles: Yup... And I haven't memorized it yet.
Mr. Mister: What about the thing your doing with Drake, how is that?
Charles: Not done yet.
Well it was time for the movie... After our drinking thingy... We went to watch the movie... The movie was great. I didn't expect that I was actually going to like it. After the movie he asked me to do to timezone to play I said. "Go ahead play I'll just watch" he said: "Huh? why?" Well I'm not into playing video games I'm boring well I said to him "One of my friends told me that I live a boring life" because I have no love life, and I don't go out during the day.
Mr. Mister: You're not boring!
Mr. Mister: Look I'm more older than you...
Mr. Mister: I'm 32 years old! how old are you?
Charles: I'm older than you!
Mr. Mister: I don't believe you?
Charles: Look I'm 33years old. Old enough but I'm just gifted with youth...
Mr. Mister: You look like your in your late 20's
Charles: Told you I was gifted with youth...
Anyway we played air hockey... of course he won. Then we played bowling... Of course I won. Then we did the truck raise, sports car, then the gun game... That was fun. I've never done that for more than 10 years.
After timezone... We went to an internet cafe because he needed to send something thru email or whatever... An acquaintance was there "Besos".
Acquaintance: Hi Charles... I haven't seen you in a long time! How are you?
Charles: Oh Hello! I'm great
Mr. Mister to Charles: So what do you like to drink?
Charles to Mr. Mister: Anything!
Mr. Mister to Charles: I was taught by my parents to say something anything like juice, coffee, or tea if being asked...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Oops sorry... I don't want to drink anything.
Mr. Mister to Charles: Please drink something...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Fine coffee.
Waitress: Mocha or Vanilla
Charles: Mocha
Acquaintance: It looks like your sizing him.
Charles: Sizing who?
Acquaintance: Him?!
Charles: Who? Oh Mr. Mister?... No I wasn't! He's a good friend of mine...
Mr. Mister: How can he size me up! I'm not even Charles's type!
The Guy looked at me with malice then I said: Nahh! Then he left then I went back to where I was seatted.
Charles: What did you meant by what you said with that guy?
Mr. Mister: Why are you asking me that? Do you like me?
Charles: No?!
Mr. Mister: Hahaha No?!
Charles: No?!
Mr. Mister: If you say no?! Why are you blushing?!
Charles: I'm not!
Mr. Mister: How would you know?!
Charles: I know!
Then I went out side to make a call Gosh... Went back inside... As I went back he was going to pay already then I pulled out my wallet again and then he said to the cashier no I'll pay this because I'm a gentleman... That was sweet.
While walking we talked about the insident a while ago about the in liking part. Once again he asked me "Do you like me?" I blushed again! and then I said no! I changed the topic then diverted it to something interesting hehehe... we then went to bread talk then went to his friends house to leave the rest of his stuff so that he doesn't have anything to bring while were at gov.
We got to Gov at exactly 10pm for the "Wanna Be VIP" thingy. I was with Josh and his boyfriend Vince talking at the bar... Then he came and introduced me to some of his friends. The night was long and drugless hehehe but of course since Mamita is spinning I have to have a joint to spare.
I got so drunk drinking with Vince, and Jhon. I called Mr. Mister so we can smoke it together... Well we did... after a few hours he was gone... Henry invited me for congee at North Park with Dj, and Jhon... We did that... On the way home Henry dropped me off.
Next Day... Friday... and then Saturday... I was on medical leave... It was Dj's Party at Travellers... I went there after a Doctor's appointment. It was one hell of a party...
Mr. Mister: I need to tell you something! But I need to contemplate on it before I tell you!
Charles: Oh okay... Why am I going to wait till later you can tell me now?
Mr. Mister: I want to tell it to you later because I need time to contemplate on things...
That's weird but I just played like nothing happened...
Charles: Okay whats wrong with telling me now instead of later?
Mr. Mister: You know what your so good with mind games?! But you cant do it with me!
Charles: Huh? What do you mean mind games? Hello its not a game?!
Mr. Mister: Ang galing mo sa ganyan!
Charles: Okay... if you don't want to tell me you can whisper it to me?!
Mr. Mister: See... That's what I'm talking about...
Charles: Talking about what?!
Mr. Mister: Please...
So I did my socializing with all of his friends... A little later Wiley came, then Henry and then Jhon... Then I had to go home to change...
After a few... I went back to the hotel just to let them know that I was back...
SMS
Mr. Mister: "Asan kana? Wala kang pasok tapos wala ka dito? You don't love me anymore? No more hamburger party! Henry"
That was a distress signal from motherrrr... So went to government saw everybody said my Hi's and Hello's... So some of my tweeking close friends... but then another SMS from Marriah: "What did Delia take!" I said nothing just Vodka redbull then another SMS from Orange asking me the same thing? I SMS back and said "Why whats wrong tell me?" Orange said: Delia was in a seizure.
OMG what a way to destroy the GVness... So then went back at the hotel...
At travellers... It was dark... I was actually on the way to peaking... When they opened the door... It was Wiley Hello... Hello... of course in house galore... I went inside the room asking for Delia... He was sound a sleep. An hour later one by one left... Then Jhon and Charles came stayed for 30minutes then Jhon told me asked me do you want to come with us at Charles I said: "No thanks but thanks anyway for the invitation I'll see you guys later when they check out".
It was just me and him now... The rest are in the room...
Charles: "I said so can you tell me what you want to tell me now?"
Mr. Mister: Are you sure... Baka maBV ka?
Charles: Okay lang?!
He told me everything that needed to tell me... It was actually too personal to be written here so I wont.
Mr. Mister: Seryoso ka
Charles: Oo sige mula ngayun seseryosohin na kita?
Mr. Mister: Wag mo sakin sabihin yan chemical lang yan...
Charles: Huh? What do you think of me?
Mr. Mister: Bakit nung sinabi mo sa G4 sabi mo you dont like me!
I went to the restroom and when I was out I said:
Charles: "What if I do?"
Mr. Mister: Well what if I said that's great but too soon!
Mr. Mister: I'll see more of you...
Charles: Whatever!
I was so speachless... Mr. Mister said "Lets have lunch at North Park."
At North Park... I didn't want to sit beside him but then he sat beside Delia who was in front of me. Mr. Mister said: "Order what you like its my treat!" "Charles what do you like to drink?" I said lemonade. While seated on a table I was trickling my bag as if doing something because I didn't want to be caught off guard. Pulled out my cellphone and was texting Jhon to say that We've just checked out and no where to go. I guess that time we were both texting...
Delia: Sino ba tinetext nyong dalawa... Parang magkalapit lang tinetxt nyo!
Mr. Mister: Alam mo meron akong friend na para makatakas siya sa mga tanong ko kung ano ano ginagawa nya... kunyari titingin sa bag nya tapos magtetext para makaiwas lang sa mga tanong ko.
Charles: I was texting Henry and Jhon...
Mr. Mister: Bakit ikaw ba yun?
Charles: Alam mo meron akong friend kung ano ano tinatanong sakin eh sa wala ako masagot eh!!!
The whole lunch was very quiet... Because we sent messages to each other...
SMS
Mr. Mister: "Why did you say what if?"
Charles: "I was not sure what to say!"
Mr. Mister: ''Why did you say it? and why does it take you so long type what to say?"
Charles: "I had to feel everything I say!"
Mr. Mister: "Bakit kinikilig ka?!"
Charles: "Bakit ako kikiligin hello?! Akala mo lang yun!"
Mr. Mister: "Ang cute mo?!" "OOy kinikilig yan?!"
Charles: "Che?!"
Mr. Mister: "So you like me?!"
Charles: "Hmmm"
Mr. Mister: "Okay I guess it's time for me to back out!"
We finished eating... He said "Alam mo yung friend ko halos pareho sila ng ugali ng bestfriend niyang si Henry... Hindi consistent. Then I said... "Ah so hindi pala oh well..."
SMS
Mr. Mister: "So I'm backing out!"
Charles: "Oo na nga?!"
Mr. Mister: "So you like me!"
Mr. Mister: "Sayo na nang galing!"
He paid lunch then we all smoked outside North Park...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Does your friend makes you laugh?
Mr. Mister to Charles: Yes he does...
SMS
Mr. Mister: Yung Smile mo parang sumipsip lang ng kalamansi... Oy kinikilig!
*GIGGLES...
Mr. Mister to Charles: Does your friend makes you laugh as well...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Yes he does...
I SMS Henry asking that if Dj, Drake, and Him can come to the hamburger party. Henry said yes... I told them about Henry's message... They said yes... I also called Charles that we have no where to go... We all went to Charles's at Plaza Hotel That's where we stayed. Mr. Mister went home to change but then he wasn't able to com... 6:30pm Henry was already texting us to come...
Jhon and I went ahead Charles will just bring Dj and Drake there with him since he's still taking a bath we went ahead because we needed to buy more ground beef, cheese, and wasabi. Went to rustans for that... I SMS Mr. Mister Henry's address so he can follow.
While waiting for them at Henry's house Mr. Mister texted.
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "I'm sorry I wasn't able to follow at Charles's I fell asleep."
Charles: "Thats alright"...
Mr. Mister: "Where you now?" "Are you with the kids?"
Charles: "I'm on my way for jacuzzi downstairs." "The kids are coming with Charles."
Mr. Mister: "Wow thats nice?"
Mr. Mister: "What are you wearing?"
Charles: "Zon7 swim wear!"
Mr. Mister: "You cant wear that there?"
Charles: "Why can't I?" "My body is under contruction plus I'm confident!"
Mr. Mister: "Okay thats great!"
Charles: "Well you need to gain a little like atleast 5 lbs. so you to be fit and not look too dry hehehe." "So are you coming for dinner!"
Mr. Mister: "Ms. Munsi... I'll try but I'm really tired I need some rest."
After jacuzzi... Henry was already calling us for dinner... Drake, Charles, and Dj are already there then we all went up for dinner.
During dinner...
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "What up?"
Charles: "Having dinner now!"
Mr. Mister: "Is that substatial?"
Charles: "Yes why?"
Finished dinner... and it was time for drinks... We has 3 bottles of wine... and a couple of mixed cocktails while watching Will & Grace...
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "Umuwi ka na gabi na?" "Are you still with the Kids?"
Charles: "Yes I am... were just having drinks!" "Nakakahiya naman kay Henry gusto nya maginuman."
Mr. Mister: "Okay... Magpahinga kana!" "Tama na yan!"
Charles: "Sige I'll just finish this last Glass then we'll be going."
Mr. Mister: "Tigas ng ulo?! Hay!"
How demanding... After cocktails we all cleaned up and getting ready to leave... We all did our chores like we always do...
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "Magpayong ka at malakas ang ulan sa labas." "Text me when you're home."
Charles: "Were just wrapping up then home na!"
Mr. Mister: "Ingat pauwi!"
We said our goodbye's to Henry... then we all went down... One by one took a cab home...
SMS:
Charles: "Im on my way home!"
Mr. Mister: "Good text me when your there okay!"
Got home... Took a hot shower... Then went to bed. Texted him and said "Im home." then he said "Good Nights and Sweet Dreams.
I texted back and said:
Charles: "Ah okay what do you have in mind?"
Mr. Mister: "Is 2:00pm good time?" "Rockwell or Greenbelt?"
Charles: "2:30 is nice!"
Mr. Mister: "Great!!! See you soon".
After that SMS conversation... Thinking I have 2.5 hours to prepare. I got up and went straight for the bathroom and took a hot shower and did my usual rituals. 30 minutes has passed went back to my room lowered the volume of my T.V and played a music instead.
Dressed up and ready to go I checked my watch another SMS came:
Mr. Mister: "I'm on my way now! See you!"
Charles: "Me too."
Mr. Mister: "Oh okay we can meet early... I'll be at Glorietta do you want to meet there instead?"
Charles: "Alright?! I'll text you when I'm there okay?"
Mr. Mister: "Okay".
Gosh it felt like summer it was like super hot. Got a cab just in time but unfortunately the cab driver I got was a little grumpy because I told him I am going to Makati. He dropped me off at Robinson's Place. I went inside the mall instead of walking through Adriatico Street at 2pm. I went out at the Pedro Gil exit and took a cab there.
While in the cab: "Manong Glorietta3 sa may Fridays". Another SMS
Mr. Mister: "Resident Evil is on... Do you want me to buy tickets?"
Charles: Don't buy tickets yet I'm near."
Hehehe I'm near... I was still in Buendia that time...
Mr. Mister: "I'll be at timezone okay?"
Charles: "Alrighty I'm almost there."
Hehehe I was actually at Ayala Avenue near Shangri-la... It was raining went down at Glorietta 2. Walking towards G4... and it was already 2:45pm.
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "San kana?"
Charles: "I'm here at bibliarch!"
After 15minutes another SMS.
Mr. Mister: "Asan kana?"... I ran out of load I needed to find a loading station... By the time I reloaded another SMS came saying:
Mr. Mister: "I'm here at timezone"
Mr. Mister: "Ay gumaganti?!"
Charles: "I'm just around you okay!"
Mr. Mister: "Gumaganti!"
Charles: "I'm not like you!"
The nerve so he still remembered what he did a few months ago... when he stood me up for coffee.. This was actually during Madonnathon. I was already in front of timezone. Well honey I don't go to timezone since I am now a full grown voman.
SMS:
Charles: "I'm in front of timezone near muscle beach."
Mr. Mister: "Gumaganti kalang... Makauwi na nga!"
Charles: "I'm here near Tater's!"
My blood came rushing up my head... Talking to myself Tangina! You mean I went to G4 for nothing... I was super annoyed not annoyed, irritated. Oops irritated was not the word for that furious was actually the perfect word. I went down the escalator and walking near People are People I felt like I was going to burst in flames.
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "Nandito ako sa Tater's nasan kaba?"
Okay... Fine... So... I went back... I was back to the same escalator going up the movie house.
SMS:
Charles: "I'm here in front of Timezone!"
Mr. Mister: "Wala ka naman eh!"
Charles: "Naiinis na ako as in!!!"
Mr. Mister: "Eh nandito ako sa Timezone eh!"
I was super Grrrrrr... When I stepped back there he was...
Mr. Mister: San ka ba?
Charles: I just had to say this to you?! Sobrang naasar ako kasi I was already here kanina when you said na gumaganti ako at umuwi ka na...
Mr. Mister: Naubos yung batt ng cell ko. So I had to go to the lounge to charge my cell.
Charles: I see...
Mr. Mister: So what movie do you want to see...
Charles: Anything...
Mr. Mister: Uy sorry ha...
Charles: It's okay... it's okay...
Mr. Mister: Let's watch "Resident Evil" it's the best movie in America!
Charles: But its so action... You know killing, death, guns... I don't like too much action.
Mr. Mister: Come on... It's nice its by Mila Jovovich...
Charles: Okay lets go...
We went then and bought tickets... I was about to reach for my wallet and then he said he'll pay for it. Alrighty then so we have 1 hour and 45 minutes to waste.
Mr. Mister: Do you want to drink something or... I know ice cream?!
Charles: Ah great sige.
Shit I thought about ice cream dairy makes me gassy... So I said "tataba ako?!" then he said "Whats a few calories?" I then said Hello I have a deadline... "I'm having lemonade instead.
We went out for a smoke near Starbucks... While I was there... We did our small talks... You know like:... How are you? How's your work? When are your offs?... Blah blah blah... After the cigarette break he goes.. "Hey do you want to drink?"
Charles: Alcohol?
Mr. Mister: Yup!
Charles: Where?
Mr. Mister: @ Fridays.
Charles: Well I'm going to Government later for Dj's thingy... Aren't you going?
Mr. Mister: Yeah I am we'll go together.
Walking to Friday's we both sat at the bar...
Waiter: What can I get for you guys?
Mr. Mister: What do you want to drink?
Charles: Vodka Redbull.
Mr. Mister: I'll have 1 white russian and a vodka redbull.
Mr. Mister: Oh great... Its basket ball I like to watch this... I'm a lasalite? are you a Lasalite or an Atenean?
Charles: I'm neither of the two...
Mr. Mister: Oh where did you go?
Charles: I went to Fordham
Mr. Mister: I see... Do you like sports?
Charles: Yes but not basketball. Swimming is nice...
Mr. Mister: So are you performing at the black and white ball?
Charles: Yup... And I haven't memorized it yet.
Mr. Mister: What about the thing your doing with Drake, how is that?
Charles: Not done yet.
Well it was time for the movie... After our drinking thingy... We went to watch the movie... The movie was great. I didn't expect that I was actually going to like it. After the movie he asked me to do to timezone to play I said. "Go ahead play I'll just watch" he said: "Huh? why?" Well I'm not into playing video games I'm boring well I said to him "One of my friends told me that I live a boring life" because I have no love life, and I don't go out during the day.
Mr. Mister: You're not boring!
Mr. Mister: Look I'm more older than you...
Mr. Mister: I'm 32 years old! how old are you?
Charles: I'm older than you!
Mr. Mister: I don't believe you?
Charles: Look I'm 33years old. Old enough but I'm just gifted with youth...
Mr. Mister: You look like your in your late 20's
Charles: Told you I was gifted with youth...
Anyway we played air hockey... of course he won. Then we played bowling... Of course I won. Then we did the truck raise, sports car, then the gun game... That was fun. I've never done that for more than 10 years.
After timezone... We went to an internet cafe because he needed to send something thru email or whatever... An acquaintance was there "Besos".
Acquaintance: Hi Charles... I haven't seen you in a long time! How are you?
Charles: Oh Hello! I'm great
Mr. Mister to Charles: So what do you like to drink?
Charles to Mr. Mister: Anything!
Mr. Mister to Charles: I was taught by my parents to say something anything like juice, coffee, or tea if being asked...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Oops sorry... I don't want to drink anything.
Mr. Mister to Charles: Please drink something...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Fine coffee.
Waitress: Mocha or Vanilla
Charles: Mocha
Acquaintance: It looks like your sizing him.
Charles: Sizing who?
Acquaintance: Him?!
Charles: Who? Oh Mr. Mister?... No I wasn't! He's a good friend of mine...
Mr. Mister: How can he size me up! I'm not even Charles's type!
The Guy looked at me with malice then I said: Nahh! Then he left then I went back to where I was seatted.
Charles: What did you meant by what you said with that guy?
Mr. Mister: Why are you asking me that? Do you like me?
Charles: No?!
Mr. Mister: Hahaha No?!
Charles: No?!
Mr. Mister: If you say no?! Why are you blushing?!
Charles: I'm not!
Mr. Mister: How would you know?!
Charles: I know!
Then I went out side to make a call Gosh... Went back inside... As I went back he was going to pay already then I pulled out my wallet again and then he said to the cashier no I'll pay this because I'm a gentleman... That was sweet.
While walking we talked about the insident a while ago about the in liking part. Once again he asked me "Do you like me?" I blushed again! and then I said no! I changed the topic then diverted it to something interesting hehehe... we then went to bread talk then went to his friends house to leave the rest of his stuff so that he doesn't have anything to bring while were at gov.
We got to Gov at exactly 10pm for the "Wanna Be VIP" thingy. I was with Josh and his boyfriend Vince talking at the bar... Then he came and introduced me to some of his friends. The night was long and drugless hehehe but of course since Mamita is spinning I have to have a joint to spare.
I got so drunk drinking with Vince, and Jhon. I called Mr. Mister so we can smoke it together... Well we did... after a few hours he was gone... Henry invited me for congee at North Park with Dj, and Jhon... We did that... On the way home Henry dropped me off.
Next Day... Friday... and then Saturday... I was on medical leave... It was Dj's Party at Travellers... I went there after a Doctor's appointment. It was one hell of a party...
Mr. Mister: I need to tell you something! But I need to contemplate on it before I tell you!
Charles: Oh okay... Why am I going to wait till later you can tell me now?
Mr. Mister: I want to tell it to you later because I need time to contemplate on things...
That's weird but I just played like nothing happened...
Charles: Okay whats wrong with telling me now instead of later?
Mr. Mister: You know what your so good with mind games?! But you cant do it with me!
Charles: Huh? What do you mean mind games? Hello its not a game?!
Mr. Mister: Ang galing mo sa ganyan!
Charles: Okay... if you don't want to tell me you can whisper it to me?!
Mr. Mister: See... That's what I'm talking about...
Charles: Talking about what?!
Mr. Mister: Please...
So I did my socializing with all of his friends... A little later Wiley came, then Henry and then Jhon... Then I had to go home to change...
After a few... I went back to the hotel just to let them know that I was back...
SMS
Mr. Mister: "Asan kana? Wala kang pasok tapos wala ka dito? You don't love me anymore? No more hamburger party! Henry"
That was a distress signal from motherrrr... So went to government saw everybody said my Hi's and Hello's... So some of my tweeking close friends... but then another SMS from Marriah: "What did Delia take!" I said nothing just Vodka redbull then another SMS from Orange asking me the same thing? I SMS back and said "Why whats wrong tell me?" Orange said: Delia was in a seizure.
OMG what a way to destroy the GVness... So then went back at the hotel...
At travellers... It was dark... I was actually on the way to peaking... When they opened the door... It was Wiley Hello... Hello... of course in house galore... I went inside the room asking for Delia... He was sound a sleep. An hour later one by one left... Then Jhon and Charles came stayed for 30minutes then Jhon told me asked me do you want to come with us at Charles I said: "No thanks but thanks anyway for the invitation I'll see you guys later when they check out".
It was just me and him now... The rest are in the room...
Charles: "I said so can you tell me what you want to tell me now?"
Mr. Mister: Are you sure... Baka maBV ka?
Charles: Okay lang?!
He told me everything that needed to tell me... It was actually too personal to be written here so I wont.
Mr. Mister: Seryoso ka
Charles: Oo sige mula ngayun seseryosohin na kita?
Mr. Mister: Wag mo sakin sabihin yan chemical lang yan...
Charles: Huh? What do you think of me?
Mr. Mister: Bakit nung sinabi mo sa G4 sabi mo you dont like me!
I went to the restroom and when I was out I said:
Charles: "What if I do?"
Mr. Mister: Well what if I said that's great but too soon!
Mr. Mister: I'll see more of you...
Charles: Whatever!
I was so speachless... Mr. Mister said "Lets have lunch at North Park."
At North Park... I didn't want to sit beside him but then he sat beside Delia who was in front of me. Mr. Mister said: "Order what you like its my treat!" "Charles what do you like to drink?" I said lemonade. While seated on a table I was trickling my bag as if doing something because I didn't want to be caught off guard. Pulled out my cellphone and was texting Jhon to say that We've just checked out and no where to go. I guess that time we were both texting...
Delia: Sino ba tinetext nyong dalawa... Parang magkalapit lang tinetxt nyo!
Mr. Mister: Alam mo meron akong friend na para makatakas siya sa mga tanong ko kung ano ano ginagawa nya... kunyari titingin sa bag nya tapos magtetext para makaiwas lang sa mga tanong ko.
Charles: I was texting Henry and Jhon...
Mr. Mister: Bakit ikaw ba yun?
Charles: Alam mo meron akong friend kung ano ano tinatanong sakin eh sa wala ako masagot eh!!!
The whole lunch was very quiet... Because we sent messages to each other...
SMS
Mr. Mister: "Why did you say what if?"
Charles: "I was not sure what to say!"
Mr. Mister: ''Why did you say it? and why does it take you so long type what to say?"
Charles: "I had to feel everything I say!"
Mr. Mister: "Bakit kinikilig ka?!"
Charles: "Bakit ako kikiligin hello?! Akala mo lang yun!"
Mr. Mister: "Ang cute mo?!" "OOy kinikilig yan?!"
Charles: "Che?!"
Mr. Mister: "So you like me?!"
Charles: "Hmmm"
Mr. Mister: "Okay I guess it's time for me to back out!"
We finished eating... He said "Alam mo yung friend ko halos pareho sila ng ugali ng bestfriend niyang si Henry... Hindi consistent. Then I said... "Ah so hindi pala oh well..."
SMS
Mr. Mister: "So I'm backing out!"
Charles: "Oo na nga?!"
Mr. Mister: "So you like me!"
Mr. Mister: "Sayo na nang galing!"
He paid lunch then we all smoked outside North Park...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Does your friend makes you laugh?
Mr. Mister to Charles: Yes he does...
SMS
Mr. Mister: Yung Smile mo parang sumipsip lang ng kalamansi... Oy kinikilig!
*GIGGLES...
Mr. Mister to Charles: Does your friend makes you laugh as well...
Charles to Mr. Mister: Yes he does...
I SMS Henry asking that if Dj, Drake, and Him can come to the hamburger party. Henry said yes... I told them about Henry's message... They said yes... I also called Charles that we have no where to go... We all went to Charles's at Plaza Hotel That's where we stayed. Mr. Mister went home to change but then he wasn't able to com... 6:30pm Henry was already texting us to come...
Jhon and I went ahead Charles will just bring Dj and Drake there with him since he's still taking a bath we went ahead because we needed to buy more ground beef, cheese, and wasabi. Went to rustans for that... I SMS Mr. Mister Henry's address so he can follow.
While waiting for them at Henry's house Mr. Mister texted.
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "I'm sorry I wasn't able to follow at Charles's I fell asleep."
Charles: "Thats alright"...
Mr. Mister: "Where you now?" "Are you with the kids?"
Charles: "I'm on my way for jacuzzi downstairs." "The kids are coming with Charles."
Mr. Mister: "Wow thats nice?"
Mr. Mister: "What are you wearing?"
Charles: "Zon7 swim wear!"
Mr. Mister: "You cant wear that there?"
Charles: "Why can't I?" "My body is under contruction plus I'm confident!"
Mr. Mister: "Okay thats great!"
Charles: "Well you need to gain a little like atleast 5 lbs. so you to be fit and not look too dry hehehe." "So are you coming for dinner!"
Mr. Mister: "Ms. Munsi... I'll try but I'm really tired I need some rest."
After jacuzzi... Henry was already calling us for dinner... Drake, Charles, and Dj are already there then we all went up for dinner.
During dinner...
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "What up?"
Charles: "Having dinner now!"
Mr. Mister: "Is that substatial?"
Charles: "Yes why?"
Finished dinner... and it was time for drinks... We has 3 bottles of wine... and a couple of mixed cocktails while watching Will & Grace...
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "Umuwi ka na gabi na?" "Are you still with the Kids?"
Charles: "Yes I am... were just having drinks!" "Nakakahiya naman kay Henry gusto nya maginuman."
Mr. Mister: "Okay... Magpahinga kana!" "Tama na yan!"
Charles: "Sige I'll just finish this last Glass then we'll be going."
Mr. Mister: "Tigas ng ulo?! Hay!"
How demanding... After cocktails we all cleaned up and getting ready to leave... We all did our chores like we always do...
SMS:
Mr. Mister: "Magpayong ka at malakas ang ulan sa labas." "Text me when you're home."
Charles: "Were just wrapping up then home na!"
Mr. Mister: "Ingat pauwi!"
We said our goodbye's to Henry... then we all went down... One by one took a cab home...
SMS:
Charles: "Im on my way home!"
Mr. Mister: "Good text me when your there okay!"
Got home... Took a hot shower... Then went to bed. Texted him and said "Im home." then he said "Good Nights and Sweet Dreams.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
What Is Friendship to You?
What is friendship to you, my friend? Yes, you are my friend, and as such, I ask that you do these things for me:
If I ever feel like giving up, be there for me, and inject me with novocaine or morphine or love or something until the pain subsides.
If I’m ever angry at the world, Don’t take offense tothe hollow threats I hurlferociously at your heart because I mean nothing I say.
Hold my emotions in your hands and don’t drop my feeble heart from its current state of madness.
Cover these thoughts made of glass with bubble wrap, because their fragility leaves me hanging in the balance.
Lend me your shoulder, your strength, when the weight of the world becomes too heavy for me to bear.
Send me into my dreams with the idea that you’ll be there tomorrow if I need a third eye to see clearly, or a second opinion on life.
Don’t compromise the fate of the world and pull me back into happiness, when my thoughts become too ANTI-EVERYTHING.
Support me when I’m right, and criticize me when I’m wrong. Stay true to yourself, so that you do the same for others.
But above all, make the term “friend” seem like it means more than just a simple conversation and unkept promises.
Just don’t fail me now, like so many others have before you.
If I ever feel like giving up, be there for me, and inject me with novocaine or morphine or love or something until the pain subsides.
If I’m ever angry at the world, Don’t take offense tothe hollow threats I hurlferociously at your heart because I mean nothing I say.
Hold my emotions in your hands and don’t drop my feeble heart from its current state of madness.
Cover these thoughts made of glass with bubble wrap, because their fragility leaves me hanging in the balance.
Lend me your shoulder, your strength, when the weight of the world becomes too heavy for me to bear.
Send me into my dreams with the idea that you’ll be there tomorrow if I need a third eye to see clearly, or a second opinion on life.
Don’t compromise the fate of the world and pull me back into happiness, when my thoughts become too ANTI-EVERYTHING.
Support me when I’m right, and criticize me when I’m wrong. Stay true to yourself, so that you do the same for others.
But above all, make the term “friend” seem like it means more than just a simple conversation and unkept promises.
Just don’t fail me now, like so many others have before you.
A New Dimension of Pissed Off
To You,
“This isn’t just goodbye, This is I can’t stand you.”
To think I wasted the time appreciating who you were and what you are, and what you refuse to be makes me sick.
Please excuse me for intruding on your life, thinking it was worth the time to try and chase you around with a crumbling heart and a hopeful eye.
Please excuse me for thinking you were attractive, that you don’t give yourself enough credit, that you weren’t just another face in the crowd.
Please excuse me for taking the time out of my day to go to your sporting events and cheer you on, or to attempt a meaningful conversation when it seemed to me you don’t have muchin your life that makes you happy.
Please excuse me for wanting to bethe guy to make you smile more, to make you feel better about yourself.
I can’t believe you would lie to me when I never did anything wrong to you. And right now, I wish I didn’t waste my time hoping you could accept me as your boyfriend.
Right now, you really don’t seem worth anyone’s time I don’t really mean any of this, but this blind rage you’ve put me in refuses to give you any leeway.
I’m sorry if I’ve offended you in this letter, and I hope someday you’ll understand why I’m so pissed and I hope someday you’ll remember what happened between us and I hope when you do that you won’t let it happen again.
I really don’t understand what made you do this, but right now, I don’t really care. And I’m not going to forgive you right now.
Thanks for not caring about my feelings, so that, now, I don’t have to care about yours.
Have a nice life.
Sincerely,
Me.
The Merchant of Loneliness
Walking through a street one fine day with my dog Jaqui. I saw a small crowd gathered on the road side surrounding an eccentric peddler in tattered clothes who called himself the Merchant of Loneliness and as I approached, he began his speech again:
“Come, come, step right up, and hear the great offer which I lay before you today! I will give to you the greatest riches in the world, the best friendships, the greatest of supportive families, and even, for those who seek it, great power. I will give to you whatever you desire, and I will present all this to anyone willing only to lose the ability to gain love, so though you may burn so passionately for anyone, they will never return it. That is all I require in return, such a menial thing to give for such a grand offer. Who will agree to such a bargain?”
Murmurs arose in the mob around meas each individual considered the value of the deal but I did not trust their judgment (or lack thereof) for they knew not what they were accepting and, in an attempt to sway the general opinion, I stood next to this Merchant of Loneliness and said:
“It is a great scam this eccentric is running one which would satisfy the vain and proud, the greedy, the poor, and the power-hungry, all doubting the true value of their love. But he does not consider those who have accepted the deal without knowledge of their acceptance in the first place. In undeniable truth, I give you my word: he gives away material gain, but each of you, in return, receive ominous emotional loss.”
The crowd took heed of my words and dispersed, and the dastardly Merchant was left with me as his only disinterested customer and as he dejectedly gathered his “wares” I continued on with my chilling speech:
“My friend, I know not if you could fulfill your end of this bargain which you present but your customers are merely victims of their own persons, and you are merely the jester, left to take advantage of their useless greed. Forgive me for ruining your game. Their only faults are the greed which drives all, and the misconception of your offers.
“However, I am one of which I spoke,having accepted your offer without hearing it. For I already have all that I want: friends who’d do anything to help me, family who’d support all actions I take, a wealth of knowledge and skills to do anything and the greatest power: to make my own decisions. But they do not realize your offer is just that, and I know that many could not bearthe loneliness they would receive.
They could not live with the strain of ardent fires of passion burning the very core of their souls, then never possessing the power to purely profess their hopelessness to those who turn deaf ears to them. Often I wish I had the power to rescind the offer because there is no remedy for permanent loneliness and I would give away anything I have for this cold loneliness to end.”
“Come, come, step right up, and hear the great offer which I lay before you today! I will give to you the greatest riches in the world, the best friendships, the greatest of supportive families, and even, for those who seek it, great power. I will give to you whatever you desire, and I will present all this to anyone willing only to lose the ability to gain love, so though you may burn so passionately for anyone, they will never return it. That is all I require in return, such a menial thing to give for such a grand offer. Who will agree to such a bargain?”
Murmurs arose in the mob around meas each individual considered the value of the deal but I did not trust their judgment (or lack thereof) for they knew not what they were accepting and, in an attempt to sway the general opinion, I stood next to this Merchant of Loneliness and said:
“It is a great scam this eccentric is running one which would satisfy the vain and proud, the greedy, the poor, and the power-hungry, all doubting the true value of their love. But he does not consider those who have accepted the deal without knowledge of their acceptance in the first place. In undeniable truth, I give you my word: he gives away material gain, but each of you, in return, receive ominous emotional loss.”
The crowd took heed of my words and dispersed, and the dastardly Merchant was left with me as his only disinterested customer and as he dejectedly gathered his “wares” I continued on with my chilling speech:
“My friend, I know not if you could fulfill your end of this bargain which you present but your customers are merely victims of their own persons, and you are merely the jester, left to take advantage of their useless greed. Forgive me for ruining your game. Their only faults are the greed which drives all, and the misconception of your offers.
“However, I am one of which I spoke,having accepted your offer without hearing it. For I already have all that I want: friends who’d do anything to help me, family who’d support all actions I take, a wealth of knowledge and skills to do anything and the greatest power: to make my own decisions. But they do not realize your offer is just that, and I know that many could not bearthe loneliness they would receive.
They could not live with the strain of ardent fires of passion burning the very core of their souls, then never possessing the power to purely profess their hopelessness to those who turn deaf ears to them. Often I wish I had the power to rescind the offer because there is no remedy for permanent loneliness and I would give away anything I have for this cold loneliness to end.”
Whispered Flatteries...
The taste of your skin lingers on my lips
as I watch you walk down the corridor
toward the bathroom, gracefully, freely, perfectly
in stride (though you said you were still in a little pain).
The cries of joy and ecstacy ring in my head,
your voice the sound track my beating heart
replaysover and over again. The passion burned
more fiercely with ever passing second, and the
foreplay was excellent.
Lips locked together, tongues sparring, hands exploring
without restriction, eyes closed, candles flickering,
and it was just me and you. Without a doubt it was
the best experience, the bed sheets flying around
as this love reached its peak.
Never had I been so in love with you, and never will
this new love fade away. I saw the subtle fire burning
in your eyes, I saw everything that is perfect,
that is divine in you, I saw how much I love you
come out in those flatteries I whispered into your ear,
and I saw that you understood the truth as you
whispered back into my ear.
“I will always love you.”
as I watch you walk down the corridor
toward the bathroom, gracefully, freely, perfectly
in stride (though you said you were still in a little pain).
The cries of joy and ecstacy ring in my head,
your voice the sound track my beating heart
replaysover and over again. The passion burned
more fiercely with ever passing second, and the
foreplay was excellent.
Lips locked together, tongues sparring, hands exploring
without restriction, eyes closed, candles flickering,
and it was just me and you. Without a doubt it was
the best experience, the bed sheets flying around
as this love reached its peak.
Never had I been so in love with you, and never will
this new love fade away. I saw the subtle fire burning
in your eyes, I saw everything that is perfect,
that is divine in you, I saw how much I love you
come out in those flatteries I whispered into your ear,
and I saw that you understood the truth as you
whispered back into my ear.
“I will always love you.”
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Just A Thought...and A Real One!
Have you ever noticed a puddle of water on the street?...
Its usually pretty nasty. You are not generally moved to go over there and take a sip from it. I think we have a primal understanding that water that is not flowing is bad water. You are much more likely to drink from a flowing stream than a puddle of water on the side of the road.
I sort of equate the idea of flowing water to being "alive" and living. When something is dead, it no longer moves and no longer serves a function in the cycle of the system. When something dies, it becomes debris that needs to be washed away so that it can become part of the cycle again.
Circulation of money works in this same principle noh? We want an economy where the money moves around and generates a healthy flow. Japan had been in trouble a few years ago because people would store a lot of money in savings and then never spend it. Its economy wasn't flowing.. its flow hindered by the hoarding of money into private stockpiles. thus the value of money really lies in rate of flow of its movement from one party to another. The money itself has no intrinsic value, however, the ability of money to facilitate transations and exchanges is why it is valuable to us.
So then i would conclude, your money is only as valuable as you manage and use it because simply having a lot of it doesn't do you a lot of good unless you are using it wisely. In the same way, I could apply this analogy to life and emotional patterns. if you do the same exact thing for your entire life, then it gets stale and boring. We may not notice this because of our greed to hoard more and more stuff narrows our vision. Maybe first i do business to make money to have a better lifestyle, but then out of greed I start to just make more money to make more money. Or maybe i could be someone who wants to be liked by others so I direct my life in a way that so that i surround myself with peole that say "yes" to me all the time. (FYI I'm not really talking about myself here! just making theoretical points about the power of greed in our lives).
However, those who live more rewarding lives are people who stay aware of the greater flow around them, and move with it. Even if we are so busy running around, do we stop to notice we are running around in a circle? We create the illusion for ourselves that we must be going somewhere because we are running so fast and we can feel the wind blowing on our faces. I then take a step back and give myself a reality check to see if in fact, i'm just running around in a circle.
In a way that's sort of like moving around but not really going anywhere. Not quite as bad as stagnant water, but its pretty much the same thing. Its time for me to stop treading water, and start swimming for real.
Its usually pretty nasty. You are not generally moved to go over there and take a sip from it. I think we have a primal understanding that water that is not flowing is bad water. You are much more likely to drink from a flowing stream than a puddle of water on the side of the road.
I sort of equate the idea of flowing water to being "alive" and living. When something is dead, it no longer moves and no longer serves a function in the cycle of the system. When something dies, it becomes debris that needs to be washed away so that it can become part of the cycle again.
Circulation of money works in this same principle noh? We want an economy where the money moves around and generates a healthy flow. Japan had been in trouble a few years ago because people would store a lot of money in savings and then never spend it. Its economy wasn't flowing.. its flow hindered by the hoarding of money into private stockpiles. thus the value of money really lies in rate of flow of its movement from one party to another. The money itself has no intrinsic value, however, the ability of money to facilitate transations and exchanges is why it is valuable to us.
So then i would conclude, your money is only as valuable as you manage and use it because simply having a lot of it doesn't do you a lot of good unless you are using it wisely. In the same way, I could apply this analogy to life and emotional patterns. if you do the same exact thing for your entire life, then it gets stale and boring. We may not notice this because of our greed to hoard more and more stuff narrows our vision. Maybe first i do business to make money to have a better lifestyle, but then out of greed I start to just make more money to make more money. Or maybe i could be someone who wants to be liked by others so I direct my life in a way that so that i surround myself with peole that say "yes" to me all the time. (FYI I'm not really talking about myself here! just making theoretical points about the power of greed in our lives).
However, those who live more rewarding lives are people who stay aware of the greater flow around them, and move with it. Even if we are so busy running around, do we stop to notice we are running around in a circle? We create the illusion for ourselves that we must be going somewhere because we are running so fast and we can feel the wind blowing on our faces. I then take a step back and give myself a reality check to see if in fact, i'm just running around in a circle.
In a way that's sort of like moving around but not really going anywhere. Not quite as bad as stagnant water, but its pretty much the same thing. Its time for me to stop treading water, and start swimming for real.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Unresolved Issue
Yeah, so I'll post tonight instead of tomorrow morning at work, as I have stuff I should do right when I get to work. Bleh.
I'm tired of a dark cloud hanging over me; I feel like I've moved on very far from a month ago, and even further than 2 months ago, but I feel stagnant and unable to move any more because of this dark cloud. As if I have gone as far as I can in this storm, and I just want out of it and onto those sunnier times, hopefully with you as a small part of my life.
This unresolved friendship--the anger, the mistrust, the communication issues, the hurt, the pain, among other things--where your friendship was in my heart, now is loneliness and nothingness that will always be there while you are away. I know we can do better than we did; we know what worked and what didn't; we both allow me to build that trust. I won't disappoint you. I know I've said this all before, I just need to get it off my chest occasionally, so to the two of you that read (and obviously not the ones that need this), thanks for putting up with that paragraph. hehe
Current Mood: Happy, but sick of the rain from this f-ing dark cloud
Current Music: Saves the Day - Tomorrow Too Late (concert?)
I'm tired of a dark cloud hanging over me; I feel like I've moved on very far from a month ago, and even further than 2 months ago, but I feel stagnant and unable to move any more because of this dark cloud. As if I have gone as far as I can in this storm, and I just want out of it and onto those sunnier times, hopefully with you as a small part of my life.
This unresolved friendship--the anger, the mistrust, the communication issues, the hurt, the pain, among other things--where your friendship was in my heart, now is loneliness and nothingness that will always be there while you are away. I know we can do better than we did; we know what worked and what didn't; we both allow me to build that trust. I won't disappoint you. I know I've said this all before, I just need to get it off my chest occasionally, so to the two of you that read (and obviously not the ones that need this), thanks for putting up with that paragraph. hehe
Current Mood: Happy, but sick of the rain from this f-ing dark cloud
Current Music: Saves the Day - Tomorrow Too Late (concert?)
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
My Thoughts about TOMORROW...
Tomorrow is Not Promised... Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there. They serve some sort of purpose, or help figure out who you are and who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be; your neighbor, a child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles. You would have never realized your potential strength, will power, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses, or relationships life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life. And the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are and even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart? If someone loves you love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening up your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count; Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can For you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love. Break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, no one will believe in you either. You can make of your life, anything you wish.
Create your own life And then go out and live in it live each day as if it were your last Tomorrow...
You never know who these people may be; your neighbor, a child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles. You would have never realized your potential strength, will power, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses, or relationships life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life. And the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are and even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart? If someone loves you love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening up your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count; Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can For you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love. Break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, no one will believe in you either. You can make of your life, anything you wish.
Create your own life And then go out and live in it live each day as if it were your last Tomorrow...
Saturday, August 4, 2007
D'AUDITOR's of Philippine Charity Foundation
Today I just recieved a sms message saying:
"D'AUDITOR's of Philippine Charity Foundation nform u dat ur Celfon no. Won Php950,000.00 2nd prize Winner draw last: AUG/03/07 Pls Call Me Now I'm ATTY.JOEY G. CHUA"
Sender:+639063727715
I called them because I thought it was just friends of mine who are just picking on me. But when I spoke to a person she sounded like she was someone who never knew English can be a second language and she was telling me that the ATTY. Chua guy was on a board meeting.
I asked her if they had a website where I can check about their foundation. All she said was "Philippine Charity Foundation".
I then checked out http://sec.gov.ph there was no such thing as a foundation listed on that name.
So to all of you out there... Here's what I have to say... Who ever thought of the name "D'AUDITOR's Philippine Charity Foundation". Honey... he must be really tacky and ugly. Imagine giving a name D'AUDITOR's... Darling if your reading this get a secretary who can speak English at least just to cover up for your tacky name. Period! Over and Out!
"D'AUDITOR's of Philippine Charity Foundation nform u dat ur Celfon no. Won Php950,000.00 2nd prize Winner draw last: AUG/03/07 Pls Call Me Now I'm ATTY.JOEY G. CHUA"
Sender:+639063727715
I called them because I thought it was just friends of mine who are just picking on me. But when I spoke to a person she sounded like she was someone who never knew English can be a second language and she was telling me that the ATTY. Chua guy was on a board meeting.
I asked her if they had a website where I can check about their foundation. All she said was "Philippine Charity Foundation".
I then checked out http://sec.gov.ph there was no such thing as a foundation listed on that name.
So to all of you out there... Here's what I have to say... Who ever thought of the name "D'AUDITOR's Philippine Charity Foundation". Honey... he must be really tacky and ugly. Imagine giving a name D'AUDITOR's... Darling if your reading this get a secretary who can speak English at least just to cover up for your tacky name. Period! Over and Out!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Now It's Your Turn
When Peter Pan saw Tinkerbell again after quite some time, he asked "Why did you have to go away for so long?"
Tinkerbell replied: "YOU NEVER GAVE ME A REASON TO COME BACK. I was always there when you needed me.. But i guess you never showed how important I am to your life.. NOW IT'S DIFFERENT, AND NOW WE'VE CHANGED... BUT I'M STILL SMILING..."
Peter pan then asked her why?
Tinkerbell replied: "I myself don't know the reason. It's just that now... IT'S YOUR TURN TO MISS ME..."
Tinkerbell replied: "YOU NEVER GAVE ME A REASON TO COME BACK. I was always there when you needed me.. But i guess you never showed how important I am to your life.. NOW IT'S DIFFERENT, AND NOW WE'VE CHANGED... BUT I'M STILL SMILING..."
Peter pan then asked her why?
Tinkerbell replied: "I myself don't know the reason. It's just that now... IT'S YOUR TURN TO MISS ME..."
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