Sunday, October 5, 2008

Thoughts of Dating

My friends would always say that I'm such a good catch. But recently, I'm finding that harder and harder to believe (only because recent dates seem to be proving to me otherwise). Sometimes, I can't help but think if there's really something wrong with me or has all the good men (gay or straight) become really that hard to find? 

In our never-ending search for happiness, we date and date to try our luck on this game. And while we try to make a good first impression, there are really times when there's just no connection. So what does it take to make not just a good first impression but to make a lasting one? 

When you meet a person for the first time in a date, there are certain rules that you follow. Here’s mine:

1. Prepare for your date but don't be over the top. Find out where you're going and dress appropriately. Don't wear an evening gown or a tux if you're just going for coffee or a movie. You don't want to intimidate the other person that much. Be comfortable on what you're wearing. Feeling good on what you're wearing always gives you more confidence.

2. Good Manners are always a must. Remember the things you were taught in school, Good Manners and Right Conduct. Don't curse or say inappropriate words and remember to say 'please' and 'thank you'. Nothing beats an educated person. After all, no one wants to hear the word SH*T or F*CK in every other sentence. 

3. Talk about things you may have in common. Find that connection and start a nice conversation. Never talk about your EX's. No one wants to hear about it. That's why they are called, EX's -- they should remain just that. Don't talk about work; it's not a job interview. 

4. Be confident (but don't overdo it). Over-confidence can be misunderstood as arrogance. If you're too shy, then try to open up a little. Don't clam up. Loosen up a bit. 

5. Don't talk too much. Learn to listen and don't talk about yourself as if you want to reveal everything in one blow. Keep a little mystery. And don't ask too many questions. Especially inappropriate ones like, "What's your favorite position in bed?" Reserve that for the the 5th, 6th, or 10th date… if you get that far. 

6. Be honest. No one likes a liar.

7. If you don't see the date to be going anywhere, have the courage to say so. Don't just stay there and endure the torture but if you can then at least let the date finish and be on your separate ways. Try your luck on the next one. 

8. Keep the friendship. Don't feel bad if one did not like the other. It happens. You don't expect everyone to have the same feelings, right? So if you don't like the person or that person doesn't like you, remain friends. She/he might have another friend she/he could refer to you. Keep your network open. 

9. Don't assume. Don't play the guessing game. Most likely, if there's a connection you don't even have to ask if the fondness is mutual. You'll go out again for sure. 

10. Don't end on a bad note. Make sure you thank the other person for the company and the time. You did make an effort for this date after all. 

Mind you, I do not claim to be an expert on dating. These are taken from my experiences and you're welcomed to share your own little DO's and DON'Ts on the matter. I've had my fair share of mishaps on dating. Stories you'd probably die laughing when you hear. But let me reserve that on future blog entries. 

A date is an opportunity for you to meet someone. Meeting a person that could be your future lover, husband/wife, partner, or even friend, it doesn’t have to be too complicated. Remember, it's just another person you're meeting, so don't pressure yourself if it doesn't work. Throw back the fish and let's catch some more. Sooner or later, you might just end up catching the biggest fish at sea.

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