Saturday, March 31, 2007

Tonight's Agenda... Be there!

As I woke up today...

Some things are beyond planning. And life doesn't always turn out as planned. You don't plan for a broken heart. You don't plan for a failed marriage. You don't plan for an adulterous husband. You don't plan for an autistic child. You don't plan for spinsterhood. You don't plan for a lump in your under arm.

You plan to be young forever. You plan to climb the corporate ladder. You plan to be rich and powerful. You plan to be acclaimed and successful. You plan to conquer the universe. You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad. You don't plan to be hurt. You don't plan to be broken. You don't plan to be betrayed. You don't plan to be alone in this world. You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans- especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry but we can carry that cross with courage, knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He break our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble. Sometimes Godsends us illness so we can take better care of our selves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace. Growing up we get dismayed by there allocation that we could not get everything we want. Growing old, we should be delighted by the realization that although we can't have everything we want, we can want everything we have. "God will either give you what you want or far better than what you wished.

Keep on praying ... But be thankful that His answers are always wiser than your prayers."

A Red Dream...

Last night before sleeping, Red called asking me where I was? I was home and didn't feel like going out because I really needed to rest since my muscles are hurting again. Anyway he was asking about Stacy to party with him because he's with this boy that he met a month ago at Gov. Tramp! Stacy as a really good friend of ours that we always meet at Government. Unfortunately I don't know where she is. hahahaha.

I fell asleep right away after that call... During that not so deep sleep. I dreamt about Red. It was like, I was riding with him going to Gov with all of my belongings for an event. We went to a place that looks like a vacant complex with a lamp post and beside it is an old mint green apartment building, where another friend of mine was standing waiting impatiently. We both walked over to him. Oh my gosh it was "Leo Posadas!" He was bragging about something but then Red was acting some what with disbelief of what Leo was saying. He looked at me and I said I went out of my way just to let you know... Then Leo said "He's not worth it!".

We then went to this old empty garage in the same complex, where I saw Red taking out boxes of things. I saw a recently used Sushi showcase refrigerator with pieces of left over garnishes. It was like his car dumped with so many garbage.

When all of the stuff was out his car looked like an old over used van with no upholstery as in ragged. He then said lets go were leaving. Red seated in front of me face to face. Jp looked like he was hanging from the rail like a on a jeep. Bebe and Mark are seated behind me. It was really weird. Then suddenly I remembered that I had an appointment with Qua the make-up artist from Shu Eumura. Then Mark asked me about my dress. When I showed it to him it didn't look like it was mine. But it looked like a futuristic torn one. ... Weird!

The van was already moving but no driver. I was trying to gaze at the driver but just could not see him. The driver was really driving really fast... On the side of the street I saw three young girls walking really fast. because the it seemed like it was flooded with dirty water mixed with thick mud. I saw it. It was like a wave of black mud.

The van was still moving. Up ahead I saw two humongous crane trucks as huge as five story buildings with large wheels racing in front of us. We tried to over take it was just like being on a real aggressive race. The driver went under the one truck just to over take we almost hit the crane of the other truck. Then I woke up! from the beep of my cell phone as reminder that I have unread messages.

Coincidentally the message was from Red. Funny but then I was a little worried. I texted back and said to him to "be careful on your way home".

Friday, March 30, 2007

Happy Birthday Ateh...

Last night was the intimate birthday party of my best friend Henry... It was stupendously fabulous! I don't even remember how i got home...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Yesterday, Today, and the Other Day...

Yesterday... I went to the office in the afternoon... Went back then went to the spa instead of the gym.

Today... I was really pissed because I was hoping that I made money out of the exhibit. I learned my lesson... I guess you cannot really trust this specific one. Everything should be black and white.

The Other Day... Jhon and I met at Edsa Mrt to meet Henry to him to get his boots. it was really an interesting day because it was shared with good friends. In the evening we went to this party at Dapitan... It was so much fun except it was really hot meaning I felt like I burned so much because of the heat at that party.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Friday, March 23, 2007

Thoughts For Today...

First thing, in the morning, as I begin my day, I turn on my computer, to see what my email friends have to say. They bring me such delight, with notes and cards and such, and I appreciate their thoughtfulness, so very very much!

Sometimes, there is a concern, a need for a quick prayer, and it encourages me to know that they are always there. I hear the birds early chirping, with happy songs in their hearts, and just like my friends, they give me a cheerful start.

Im blessed each and every morning to see their names in my mailing list, and when one isn't there, they are truly missed. Even though we are far apart, and exist in Cyber Space I hope, someday to meet them all smiling face to face.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Today's Activity...

I had an early meeting today at Manila Hotel with this Canadian speaker for a work shop for the foundation this coming Sunday. Thank God! Its really pushing thru.
Anyway, after that meeting I went back to the office in time for Jhon's call. Asking me if he could borrow some of my dresses. Particularly the real expensive ones. Hmmmm I wonder what for? He said its for research. Well I'm off to the gym now and need to be home early to meet Jhon. See you!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Yesterday, Today, the Other Day & Last Saturday...

Yesterday... I took a day off out of my own right. Last sundays party was so tiring. I didnt go to the gym because I was too lazy to go. In the evening Bam called me to say that he had already sent me the song that Im performing for our event this 31st, Oh I cant wait since its my last performance. Bebe called to say Hi?! we ended up talking till 1am. hahaha A lot of good interesting stories. He's a nice guy.

Today... I went to work after lunch checked my mails, went to my appointments then eventually walked to the gym. I needed to take off the calories that I took this long weekend.

The Other Day... It was my 3rd party of the year. The party of the selected few. Well the "selected few" turned out to be a big party for the selected few's it was so much fun. There was so much food and a lot of booze. Im happy because I still have really super good friends around. I am so blessed for that.

Last Saturday... Was confusing, I had an invite from Dj Kevin Ruiz personally at the Ware House but then I had another invite from my best friend Henry for the Summer Ball at government. Both events have a different attire. The one at government is Summer and the one at Ware House is Club Chic.

I went to Government with my Beach Louie Vuitton look but eventually had too much to party. I went outside government... Honey, It was Hello Sunshine! I had to rush home to get ready for my party. hahaha

Friday, March 16, 2007

Thoughts For Today...

People get hurt because they try to deny its existence or its absence. Don't make things complicated, for it is hard to find an answer. If you love each other build a relationship where in you'll both find happiness.

If you know love has faded just let go and dont dream as if there is still chance for love to come back. Because the more you deny what's inside your heart the more pain you are trying to catch...

This is for you... You know who you are!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Pictures from my Pastry Event...

Yesterday, Today, and the Other Day...

Yesterday. I went to the gym really early because I have a lot of night activities. In the afternoon I went to Robinsons Place Ermita. To buy a travelling bag because my Mom invited me to Hong Kong with her on the 24th up to the 26th of March.

I went to government last night for the Birthday Party of 3 of my good friends. Tam Dizon, Qua and Bebe. David my best friend got me a present a BVLGARI OMNIA so sweet of him.

Today. I woke up around 11ish, so hung over from last nights activities. Went to work late, made calls and in an hour I'll be on my mary way to the gym.

The Other Day. I had a free tasting of the cakes and pastries the other day. It was a referral hope I get it.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Thoughts For Today...

Some people say that you don't know what you have until you lose it. But its not like that. You always know what you have... You just never thought you would lose it...

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Family Day

It was just this sunday that I finally spent it with my real family. Thanks to my brother Walter and his wife Rina and three kids, Harvey and my Mom. We talked about their plans for the holy week. I have no plans yet but I know my lost resort will be at Gallera.

I didn't go to the gym today since that it was Sunday. I wanted to go but my mind didnt so I guess I'll just go to bed early. Tomorrow will be a new day. Take care and stay clean...


Last night was a blast... It was like a small reunion with really good friends, the original La Familia of Government. Last nights motif was just pure gov family. Most who came where the original pioneer ones. Laurence, Charles, Popie, and many more. Pure clean fun.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

About Last Night...

I had a best night last night at Government I drank Vodka Redbull all night with my super dooper good friends Henry, my ex husband Brit, Jun Escario, Cacay Moras of M Cafe and her boyfriend Joey Server of Capones and of course the little imp "Josh". It was a night of Alcohol and Pepsi with something extra.

Thanks Baby... I had so much fun.

Friday, March 9, 2007


I REFUSE TO WAIT FOR YOU ANY LONGER. There was a time in my life when I would have saved myself for you alone. In my heart no one else would do. I belonged to no one else but you. That isn't me anymore. My heart finally caught up with my brain and I finally saw that all of it was just nothing but fantasies. Dreams that only I wanted. There was no hope left for us. As each day passed, it became clearer to me that it was never meant to be. We were never meant to be.


I REFUSE TO LIVE IN THE PAST. What we shared lives in the past, it doesn't control me any longer. Don't get me wrong, I will forever treasure it but I won't let it hold me back. I won't let it ruin who I was and who I am now. For a time, I almost forgot who I was without you. I'll never let that happen again. I won't ever lose myself again.


I REFUSE TO FIGHT ANYMORE. For several weeks now, I've been fighting. I've been fighting for our friendship. However, no matter what I do, I seem to be losing. Whenever I feel as if I'm going to buckle down because of the pressure, the thought that somehow maybe you are fighting for us too kept me going. But weeks have passed, I haven't heard from you. Somehow I finally realized that I was the only one fighting. I was doing everything I could possibly can for someone who was and never will be mine.


I REFUSE TO LOSE HOPE. It may not be you. It may take me forever to find him, but I will. Tears have been streaming down my cheeks for too long but not anymore. I have learned so many things from all this. Things that I felt should have been taught to me some other less painful way but somehow I don't regret it. It made me stronger. It made me look inside myself and really see who I really am and not who I thought I was. Hope kept me going. The hope for better things to come, the same hope that one day I will finally be over you.

I'm not worried if I would be able to admire someone as much as I have admired you. I may even cherish someone more than I have cherished you. But I don't know if there's still someone who would adore you as much as I have adored you....

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Last Night's Agenda...

I had dinner with a good friend last night in our new favorite restaurant CYMA a Greek resto located at Greenbelt II in Makati. We talked about a lot of things since that we needed to catch up on things that we didnt talk about during the week. After that dinner we walked around and he dropped me home.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Yesterday, Today, and the Other Day...

Yesterday... I was really amazed again, It was my first time to sit by the stairs of a building with a yogurt drink in the residential part of Makati, while waiting for our friends to come... I never thought of doing that. It was always done by meeting them in a cafe or at the lobby of the apartment. While sitting down, the feeling is just like summer in New York City at the stair way of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Sitting with a date and eating my poppy seed bagel with samon cream cheese and a battle of perrier spring water those days was just "Fantabulous!", two-in-one fantastic and fabulous at the same time. and I did that here, but in a different setting. Sweet but Amazing.

Today... I woke up just in time went to the office spoke to people and went to my luncheon. I just hate it when their late. I got home at 1:30pm. Had a conference with my super friends Mikee and Lawrence about matters from the heart. I feel empty so today... I guess I just parteed really hard time to hit the Spa.

The Other Day... I attended a party of Bebe Hernandez at Paseo Park View Makati with my Mamita. We both had a wonderful time except for the Bb. Pilipinas part headed by Amentia. Josh has done it again. Thats why we cant be in the same room together. After party was at Club Government. Strange! It wasn't really that packed. I guess the Charles Carpio story did it. That's ok atleast I we were there for the support. Everybody was looking for partee... Too bad Im the only one who can get some. hehehe

Friday, March 2, 2007

Thoughts about the Queen...

Last night I fitted all of my drag clothes that are all in my closet. I thought about not taking any effort what so ever on having a new outfit done for that specific event... I dont care if they say that what Im wearing is a rewind from the last event. I also thought about show on the 31st "Mother Wear's Prada... It might be the last one since I think its time for me to leave the Queen behind and embrace who I am now... As someone who goes to the gym everyday.

My Cousin Ryan said I cant do it... That even made me more stronger and willing to exert all the effort to be who I want to be...

I dont think this is a phase because I haven't felt so much determination in my life. Before I remember I tried to work out, but did not continue I couldn't stand the pain. Now it has been four consecutive days I've been in and out of the Health Club and actually enjoying it. Thats why I said I never felt so determined in my life. So I will really make it on this one. Wish me luck...

Tonight's Agenda

I had dinner with family at the Old Swiss Inn fallowed by wine tasting at a gallery in Malate. It was super fun...

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Finally I had the power to start redecorating my room. It is such a hassle every time I have my friends over. My room always looks like a stock room of all of my things.
I have already conceptualize the new look of my room. I want it to be very different, a lot of interesting things to see, very artistic and has to have a lot of life.
As you can see the window it used to be plain looking. Its very sunny, since I have the morning sun. I've placed carton planks on my window preventing too much of the morning sun. Giving my room a much less light. "Good for you know what I mean." hehehe.
Also adding a concept wall as my masterpiece. I'm going to have a party soon as soon as its OK for viewing don't worry... hehehe

Thursday, March 1, 2007

My Thoughts For My Best Friend...

Sometimes we are in love with the idea of falling in love. Loving the illusion of having or missing someone. Its alright to be happy for other people, but dont get dependent on achieving happiness by being with someone.

Love yourself first before sharing yourself to somebody because if you dont, you will always look for the people that you think can make you complete and in the end, it will make you lose yourself more bit by bit. Piece by peice.

I love you Rommel... Im just here for you.