Wednesday, February 28, 2007
She's right!... I dont have to worry about looking for a job replacement since I should just focus on the family business and just really go back on working in Tagaytay. After all its ours! But the stress on going and staying there has been so hard for me. She's more than willing to come and stay there with me.
She's right!... I should just be single for a while and not worry about having someone. I've already taking care of so many of my friends as in all of them. I've been the "ATE" of almost half of the Gay Community. After all they can take care of themselves without me. That's a good thing?! I can focus on taking care of myself now.
She's right!... For a Change! I'm doing all of this not for the sake of others. I'm doing this because I want to prove myself that I can do it...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I checked my emails this afternoon to see who remembered me... It was quite a couple... But there was this one who really intrigued me...
Exact words: "...Wonderfully written. you really have way with words Charles! keep on writing! =) "
Does that mean he liked it? It was really meant for him. That wasn't even the real copy... It was already edited hehehe. How about if I ask you? Do you want a copy of the real one, I mean the unedited copy. Would you still read it?
Anyway it's late I should be sleeping now but before that! I just needed to share my thoughts...
"We look for love not because it sucks to be alone watching movies, not because its sad to eat meals alone, not because its nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days... We look for love because we want to be ACCEPTED... For the sloppy way we dress... For the clumpsy way we eat... For our bad hair days... And for the plainess of ourselves... Love is an act of ACCEPTANCE for all our imperfections and never having to say sorry for it."
Monday, February 26, 2007
We had our fruit shakes at the Cafe Plaza the hotels coffee shop. The trainer "Ben" was very professional he said he will be really strict since I said that he should teach me the things that I needed to know about having a nice body...
I have to control myself now... Not to eat to much, more fiber and nutricious food. Next week I'm starting my new diet plan I need to do this for health reasons and I'm doing all of this to become who I used to be. Lean and sexy...
I'm so exhausted now... I feel like my legs are still shaking from the cardiovascular work out that I did earlier. Tomorrow will be another day... another day for self beautification.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
It’s just, the colors of my world have become more vivid and more rich and the environment has begun to smell more invigorating and aromatic and ultimately inspiring since we met. Even the flavor of my writing has become a wee bit more scrumptious and juicy like a nice ripe, yellow mango in the summer time. As you peel one with your hands and not with a knife like we do in the city, you can lick off the juice that trickles down your arm as you take a big, soft bite of that mango and feel… and taste the sweet gift of the sun bursting and dancing on your tongue. The sensations are meltingly sweet and sensational! And I want to thank you for that!
“Thanks!” (Big, flashy smile)
Yesterday as I watched you on the dance floor, I was just so in awe of you moving to the groove of the music, allowing all the good vibes to go through your body and mind. I could just imagine all the amazing thoughts, images and energy and overwhelming feelings of love that was racing through you, all at the same time! I would give anything to be that pill that went inside of you and made you feel all those wonderful passions and emotions. Wow… It would be Mindblowing!
The energy was electricity! As we would talk, your eyes would look intently upon mine, and your focus, unfeathered. It seemed as if your powerful stare was bridging all that energy into me and only fueled me to give you back more. And just when it was just too much, you would break into that rewardingly beautiful smile, tilt back your head, close your eyes and enjoy that exchange of electricity that just moved between us.
Definitely an experience that makes me breathe deeper!
I was surprised when you told me that you read my blogs. You wanted to know what was on my mind. I was only glad to hear it. You know how I suffer from the stigma of being stereotyped. And you trying to get to know the real me through my little pockets of stories let’s me see some light at the end of this tunnel. But just to help you along the long and dynamic road of Charles (hehehe!), I suggest more than just reading my blog and experience the real thing.
So here’s to more mindblowing experiences, I’ll see you soon.
So take many pictures, laugh too much, love like you've never been hurt because every 60 second you spend upset is the minute of happiness you'll never get back...
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Take care of yourself. Dont wait for someone to take care of you. No one completes you - except YOU.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Then I had a sudden flash back, remembering what a good friend told me. Exact words: "Ate?! Papano?! Kilala ka na?! Your popular?! Your the Queen?! The QUEEN of Government." "You can never hide from that?!" "Yun ka na?!".
Am I that?! Oh my gosh?! The Queen part! OK That is just a title... I am also a person who is also looking for someone to be with... Someone who will accept who I am. But their is always the question WHO?!
So let go of the people who cant treat you right, and hold on to those who love you back and see your worth.
You know who I'm talking about right!!!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
There are events and people in our lives that make us dream, and makes our minds unrealistic. This makes us act as if were not grounded.
Bet you’re surprised that I wrote you this letter. Well, you’re not the only one. I managed to surprise myself. Hehehe… it’s just that I’ve been quite happy just hanging out with you the few times that we have and since we don’t see enough of each other, I decided to carry on our chat thru this letter, one-sided as it may be. Hehehe! Our conversations about anything and everything amuses me and serves as happy thoughts when I’m caught in moments to myself such as now.
Hmm… what shall we talk about then? I can’t believe I have this whole paper to say what I want with no interruptions whatsoever and I can’t think of a word to say. Strange, I’ve never been at a loss for words before. Hmmm… at a loss for words and yet… my smile is from ear to ear… hehehe…. I must be going bananas.
Guess that’s just it. Sometimes words can’t even justify the moment we share together when we are. I find myself just being in that moment with you and when I am it’s like that’s where I should be at that time and that place in the world.
It’s such a good feeling and yet, it kinda scares me a bit. It scares me because I know that after having such a great time with you in the club or anywhere else, you go home to your life and I go home to mine not knowing when playful destiny will bang our heads together again. Even more scary is that, with each time we hang out, I feel like I want to know you more and I guess I’m just not sure if we’re exactly on the same page on that. Well, whatever you’re thinking, it’s ok. I’ve learned to appreciate what we’ve got. I think that just being with you and getting to know you so far has been a breath of fresh air for me.
you may not know it, but, I totally blush when you talk of me to friends. Not that I need a pr manager to market me.. hahha.. wala lang.. It’s just another private happy moment I like to rewind in my head. Guess it makes me feel good to know that we’re quite fond of each other.
Martin, these past few times that we’ve hung out together have been great! And because I value this friendship more than all my signature couture and handmade swarovski crystal necklaces, I want you to know that you’ve awaken in me something that has long been asleep. A crush, an inspiration, admiration… call it whatever you like. You make me feel alive and good about myself. That’s something no one has done for me in a long time. And I feel that being with you makes me want you more and more each time. And I’m not sure that’s the right thing for me to feel at this moment.
I’m declaring a Martin holiday to assess my feelings for you Martin.
and when I call for a holiday, you can bet it’ll not be just a holiday but a holiweek. Hehehe… I’ll definitely miss you!
Hope you will too.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Yesterday was Valentines Day... I didnt careless about being invited for dinner. All I was thinking was on how busy I was doing all the office work that I left last Monday.
Lunch time I went home I needed to meet a friend at starbucks and eventually go back to office but that didnt really pushed thru. When I was home I saw Chuck the assistant of my Brother and my Mom with the Shitzu that I ordered from Silvia. The moment I openned the Dog cage I fell in love... Finally my own Pepita.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme
Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman
said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,
buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And
Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99 cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.
We search so much for the right choices, for the right paths to walk through, for the right time, and for the right reasons...
But life isn't about searching for the things can be found...
It is about letting the unexpected happen and finding things you never searched for..."
Monday, February 12, 2007
I Got home after a few minutes... Red called again to ask me for some "Cake." I got from Reinier... I asked Mang Pitong to drive me to Makati Prime Tower Room 1805. To my surprise, I didnt expect to see someone I know there except from RED and his friends.
"JOSH?" yup! It was Josh... He was Invited aswell but he was there for a reason... Hellew? he was bragging that he liked the guy called BEHBEH... I guess their together now, So happy for him.
I went home at 1:30am. Early for me very late to some, but I have my reasons why I left. Why? The guy who invited me did. I texted the driver to pick me up... When I got home... I took a hot shower and went to bed. While in bed I texted all of them said my thank you's... But there was this small thing that bugged me, I think I made a fool out of myself back there... hahaha I was giving too much information about my liking to this guy. Who knows maybe he forgotten that I cleaned up after he made a big mess... "Sir, It was my pleasure cleaning it after you made a mess." hehehe....
I woke up yesterday at 2:35pm. Grabbed something to eat from the fridge and went to watch T.V. at the T.V. room. after brunch I went back to my room and slept again. I woke up from a phone call... Henry was calling me, asking me where I am... I said I was home... He was telling me to come to government because of folded and hung... I thought about going and said to myself I just want to stay home... Im not just up to it going there... Later on Josh texted me, Brit did as well asking me to come so,... fine there was no hesitation after an hour I was there... I drank free "long island iced tea's" all night with Henry... 4am Henry drove me home.
Today I was scheduled to go to tagaytay to visit the facility... I was too lazy to go... Mom called told me that GiGi was leaving for Bacolod and will be replaced by someone from tagaytay...
I guess I'll see you later have to work for a while...