Thursday, April 26, 2007
Because you know that if you do, you might loose the only person that actually gives a damn about you.
Henry: Ate nasan kana? (Sister where are you?)
Charles: Dito sa house! Bakit? (I'm here at home! What is it?)
Henry: Parang kagigising mo lang Ate?! (Did you just wake up?!)
Henry: It's Wednesday! We're going swimming remember!!! Punta ka na dito! Dito na si Jhon!!! (Come over! Jhon is here already!!!)
Charles: Ah OK will be there as soon as I'm ready!
I left the house at 3:30pm and received a text from Henry again telling me to stop by BO's Coffee to get a Grande Cafe Latte with skimmed milk and two equals. I got to BO's at 4pm ordered and went straight to the 5th floor to meet Henry and Jhon.
When I got to the 5th floor Don (Ex boy friend of Jhon). Was there with us... Oh how fun at least now there's four of us now! A few minutes later Anna arrived! The Ms. Vivian Westwood collector. hahaha... They were talking about this pair of shoes that they saw at Zara yesterday a size "14" Wow I wished I was there?! Then she talked to me and said she saw a Jean Paul Goultier duffel bag that was so me at this Store somewhere. (Sigh)...
Henry stood up and said:
Henry: Charles its time for you to do your laps...
Charles: Later I'm still contemplating on the duffel bag that Anna was talking to me about...
Henry: You should do 12 laps... Last time was 10 now you should do 12!
I then stood up fixed myself and went straight to the swimming pool and did my laps. Supposed to be 12 but I did 14. After the laps... Gosh, it is so hard to be beautiful...
Anna and Don left. Henry, Jhon and yours truly where left just skinny dipping in the pool talking about "Ed" Henry's boyfriend... He was talking about enrolling "Ed" to a speech power school! Hmmm... Henry is such a Philanthropist! That is so Henry.
After chatting away with gossips, new ideas, and what's in for next weeks activities. I just suddenly asked both of them if we can watch a movie tonight for a change and then Henry said...
Henry: Oh lets watch "A Perfect Stranger".
Charles: Sinong artista don? (Who's artists?)
Jhon: Yung kay Bruce Willies! (Oh its Bruce Willies!)
Henry: At si Hally Berry! (And Hally Berry!)
Charles: Ah I see... What kind of picture is it?
Henry: Suspense, Parang may multo-multo? (Suspense, I think it has something to do with a ghost?)
Jhon: Eh anong oras naman yun? (What time would that be?)
Henry: Well lets get ready now! Go!!!
We all went to the locker room and took a shower, got dressed, went to the basement parking and we all went to greenbelt, parked the car and walked. While walking we were debating about having dinner somewhere Jhon and I wanted to eat in a fast food since we are trying to save while Henry on the other hand likes to eat somewhere... We all decided to eat at Oody's hahaha we all had the same thing hehehe.
After dinner we walked going to the movie ticket center bought tickets and went walking at greenbelt park and sat down near the fountain and talked about my thing with Christopher....
Charles: Let me see... where do you want me to start?
Jhon: Ano nangyari sa date nyo? (What happened to your date?)
Charles: Ayun my umiksena! Hay sino kaya yun!!! (well someone crashed our date! I wonder who it it!!!)
Henry: Ate ginagawa mo rin kaya yun?! (Sister, you also do that to me?!)
Charles: Kelan, Kelan?! Ate intimate dinner kaya yun?! (When? When? Sister, that was an intimate dinner?!)
Henry: You always ask... So hows everything?!
Charles: Hello?! But I don't join your dinners!
Jhon: So Kamusta na kayo ni C2? (So how are you and C2 doing?)
Charles: Were OK we both want to take it slow... Oh and he might go to Leyte...
Henry: Ah yes to bring his daughter to the hospital in Cebu right?!
Charles: At bakit alam mo yun? (And why do you know that?)
Henry: He told me!
Charles: Ah... Hmmm so ano ibig sabihin nun ate?! (Ah... Hmmm so what do you mean by that?!)
Henry: Wala naman! (Nothing really!) I'm just being close with whats happening...
Charles: Sige na nga! (Whatever!)
Henry then asked me...
Henry: So ano naman masasabi mo kay C2? (So what can you say about C2?)
Charles: First of all it's not C2? It's Christopher or Chris!
Jhon: OK, so what about Chris!?
Charles: Where in the trying to get to know stage... Well he's always quiet... Hmmm I dont know...
Henry: Ay ganun nga sya Ate?! Unpredictable... (Oh he's like that... So unpredictable...)
Charles: Yeah he's so mysterious... As in sometimes he's over mysterious, sometimes he's not... Haay... (Sigh...)
Henry: That's what I said... Unpredictable!
Oh yes anyway... After dinner we all watched Perfect Stranger... It was a good movie. I'm not going to tell you what happened but you should see it yourself.
Well... So, where was I?... Oh, OK!... Its funny... Everybody is so inn to this... I mean, why does everybody all of a sudden wants me to be attached? What is it about this specific person? or What is it about me? That Henry want it to work out! or maybe the other way around!!! hahaha
Go ahead ask me whatever? What am I thinking? What is my real feelings? Do you really...?
I'm open to anything... Commets? Opinions? Name it?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Feel free to make mistakes, and Celebrate life. Because even if you shrug them away, the people who love you will always choose to stay...
- Thank you Darling...
Monday, April 23, 2007
When you meet someone you really like, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross. But what if making your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny create? Making you realize in the end that the person who was destined for you was not really meant to stay, but only destined to make you feel loved and leave you when you have already fallen.
During the afternoon I met Cris the flatmate of Neb, but then he left and I didn't get the chance to socialize. In the late afternoon, we went swimming. Or should I say skinny dipping while chatting. hahaha. After a few we all went upstairs and Neb and Wiley prepared dinner.
I totally pigged out last night, as in super big time! while pigging out Christopher decided to sleep again, and will just wake him up when we go home. (Sigh)... OK the good thing Neb and Wiley and Cris stayed for an "Intimate Conversation With Charles". It's been quite a while since I last conversed. Oh how I missed the last one. (Sigh)...
Today... Christopher woke me up at 5:30am that was just 3hrs. Of sleep. We had to leave already since he had to go home, then go to work at 9am. While in the cab, Christopher asked me what I was doing when he was asleep. Well I said we had a great conversation, it was an exchange of ideas and analyzing of opinions. I'm glad that he is also into that. at least we have that in common.
I got home at 6am. I went straight to wendy's and ordered a sandwich with hot tea. Took a shower did my facial regiment and went to bed. Mom woke me up at 5pm to prepare to go to the gym since my Mom has an appointment at the Spa next to my gym at Sofitel.
The Other Day... I called my assistant today to come to the house to pick up the supplies for the facility since that I cannot make it to go there since I am preparing for big event coming to my house tonight. Christopher is coming for dinner, and I have to prepare something really special because its our first date together.
Totie called back and said, he couldn't come because Richard my psychologist and Ponce the chief guard took their day off on a moments notice. and if he leaves the facility only one staff will be there to look after the residents.
I felt that my blood rushed to my head! I was so angry because it was already 2pm and I haven't even bought anything for the dinner and I needed to go to Tagaytay to deliver their supplies. Grrrr...
After having a fit with my assistant. I texted Christopher that I am pushing thru with our dinner but will be having a late dinner instead. Because I needed to go to the facility for an emergency... I left the house at 2:30pm Got to the facility at 5:30pm due to a stupendous traffic.
When I got there... I called told Totie to make a memo for Richard for not filing a notice for his immediate day-off and will be given on Tuesday before the company outing!
I left the facility 6pm. Oh my gosh, I needed to stop by somewhere to get something for the late dinner tonight. I stopped by Paseo de Sta. Rosa Market at Sta. Rosa Laguna... I parked the car and walked going to the wet section. I was thinking of having seafood since its really easy to prepare, but I thought he might be allergic. Hmmm... So I thought about poultry. Why not have chicken and veggies... You know one of those 30min preps. hehehe...
I left the market at 7pm. So far so good there was no traffic. I arrived the house at 8:30pm texted him and he said he'll be here at 9pm sharp.
Impressive... He wasn't late at all. That's a plus factor! I charged my cell in my room so their where no int interruptions while having dinner. Dinner was served after a few minutes. We talked about many things... While he was telling me his story.. A phone call from Henry interrupted our little intimate conversation. (Sigh)...
Henry: Hi... Christopher? Put it on speaker... Charles what did you prepare?
Charles: Oh just Rosemary Chicken and Veggies and Garlic rice. That's all!
I guess he had another phone call... OK so you were saying? He continued with his story...
After dinner I asked him if he wanted to have coffee or tea... So it was coffee. We had my own blend, brewed coffee with amaretto liqueur.
Henry texted Christopher that he was on the way here... I then replied to him that were busy! But he replied and said were already down stairs!
Charles: Oh Hi ate! Your here?! I thought you where just kidding when you said your coming?!
Henry: I just wanted to see if your all right!
Charles: I'm Great! come in?!
Henry: Hi Chris!
Chris: Were going to gov later, Charles is just getting ready.
Henry: What did you cook? Was there anything left?
Charles: I didn't know you where coming. I should have prepared more! Would you like to have some veggies since that's the only one left! hehehe
Christopher and Ed spoke inside my room... Well we all know about their issues right... When they finished conversing they came out to mingle with us. We where seated across from each other but side by side... Henry was seated on the other side of the table in front of him was Christopher and I was in front of Ed. It was like a scene of a funny Gay Movie where who was dating who...
After their snack we all left and went to government for the G4m party...
- Its my first time to have a date in my house. But I was actually thinking about why do I feel like.. there is always things stopping me from doing what I like to do? Why do I feel that someone is always in between?
I just remembered but didn't really put that on writing when Neb said that they had a talk... Neb said that Christopher's not ready for a relationship. But time will tell...
I guess time will tell...? What do you think? I'm open for opinions?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Henry texted me this afternoon to invite Jhon and I for a swim and gym in his condominium located at The Shang Grand Tower, Legaspi Village Makati. I spent the whole afternoon basking under the sun hoping to get a nice tan. But unfortunately I didn't get one. (Sigh)...
After swimming I invited Henry and Jhon to have dinner at our favorite restaurant Cyma. Too bad Jhon couldn't because he's dieing for a massage. So eventually Henry together with his boyfriend Ed and I had dinner instead at Cyma Shangri-la Plaza instead. The food was Divine Decadence
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
On the way back to Manila. Rina my Sister in law, texted me that she's having a surprise BBQ for my brother John because its his birthday. I texted Josh a good friend of mine who lived in Roseville which is located at Dita, Sta. Rosa Laguna and as well as my "New" and "Great Friend" Mr. Redendo Salonga who works for Coke at Canlubang "which is also near" Sta. Rosa Laguna.
I didn't really mean to be pushy but his text seemed very "shady".
Charles: Hi! Are you free?
Red: No! I'm working!
Charles: Were having a surprise BBQ for my brother at Sta. Rosa Estates maybe you like to come!
Red: "Sino-sino ang pupunta?" (Who's Coming?)
Charles: Me, my Mom, My Sister in law, Brother, his friends, Josh if he's coming...
Red: Ah I'll try...
Charles: Ah OK... Well I just thought about you... Because "your there!" Maybe you like to stop by...
Red: Charles! I thought we talked about this already!
Charles: Huh?! Hello?! I wasn't making a pass at you! "Ikaw ang madumi and utak!" (You're the one who thinks dirty!) I'm always "Malambing" (Sweet) to my friends. OK fine from now on I'll be freezing cold if I'm talking to you!
Red: "Uy Tampo naman to..." (Hey, are you sulking...) ... I'm Sorry! hehehe
How rude... Talk about being shade, shady... I'm sure you don't know what that is...
All of my friends feel good when I invite them because one thing is for sure it means I am inviting them in to my life...
I know that Red and I didn't really had a smooth start. Because, I had this thing with him before. But its over now... Were just good friends and I'm keeping it that way.
OK this is the catch...
Many of them do not know... That, If someone is in love or in liking with someone. "They cannot be friends." Because their is still that feeling of need and want... But if that specific need and want feeling is gone... That's where "The Real Friendship" begins...
So Honey?... Don't get me wrong! I'm just starting to be good friends with you. I hope you don't get any wrong impressions. Like you said... Friends for life and pure genuine friendship.
See you soon and Good Night! :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
(and if he's flirting with you in his special own guy-way).
A lot depends on the type of guy and his individual personality.
These are tough to crack sometimes...
*He'll look at you, until you turn around, then boom, he's looking the other way.
*You may 'feel' like he's watching you - but he's hard to catch at it.
*He may do something physical - like grab you in a play way, poke you, play with your hair... (Remember when you were really young and the guy you liked punched you or tackled you?)
*He may be working really hard to pay attention to you, but doesn't quite know how...
*He may ask a friend of yours about you - he'll say it's just for "friend of mine" that wants to know about you.
*He talks to everybody else - but when you're around he turns silent, or chokes up.
*You seem to accidentally bump into him a lot of different places.
*He may not say a word to you, but he shows up in the same line, at the same time, etc.
*He'll give you a little smile from across the room, but if you get near, he won't look up.
Basically - the BIG clue is that his behavior changes when you're around (compared to when he's around his buds).
DEAD Giveaway - when you talk to him he turns red. (Bingo - you can pack that puppy up and take him home...)
I don't really understand
You're not there anymore
To simply hold my hand.
Without you around
I have lost so much
So much strength you gave
With simply a soft touch
I keep looking at my phone
But it just doesn't ring
Not even a buzz
A text it doesn't bring.
You're always too busy
And no longer have time
To stop and say hello
Seconds it would only be nine.
You have your own life
I guess I'm just in the way
And I'm not even permitted
To expect hearing from you every day.
I don't have the energy
I feel completely broken
My eyes are welling up
Soon they'll be soaking.
I need you so much
I can't begin to explain
But I'm hurting so much
Why am I bearing this pain.
I would wait a lifetime
For a moment with you
But not knowing when I'll see you
Tears me up in two.
I don't want to get hurt
Or even cause myself pain
But it definitely hurts me
For you always think I complain.
I'm so very confused
What is really meant to be
Why did this happen
Why did I fell for you...
Monday, April 16, 2007
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy, in spite of it all.
There isn't any road to happiness. Happiness is the road. Enjoy every moment...
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I was able to muster all the guts to have a talk with Harvey, which was very unlikely of me. He told me things like their desire to help me find a job back in the U. S., or any support I might need for that matter. Yes I have to admit I am slaking.. BIG TIME!
I should do something about it, or I'll just end up being a complete loser. Honestly it hit me like a great big red brick wall. Reality check!. I need to gather myself up, focus on what I should do, and have favorable results.
I realized I am still lucky, even if I am bombarded with problems from all directions at random. I still have my family with me, and I have great friends who are willing to offer support in any way.
I should count my blessings...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
The way you look at me
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Ok fine, there's absolutely nothing wrong with gaining friends and all that. but there are other means of meeting up with people. It's cool to watch a movie and have dinner with someone . . . That is if you're single or you're doing it with your partner. But if you're committed, it's another story.
It forfeits the purpose of having a relationship. You may not have any intentions of doing something that would ruin your relationship, but there are other ways of gaining friends and meeting up with people. Not even a dinner-movie date with someone else when you're totally committed to someone.
Knowing the fact that it might hurt your partner so much, common sense would tell you not to do it anymore. Would you still do something that you are aware that would hurt your loved ones? Because from where I came from, of course I won't.
It's not that you are trying to completely change a person, it's a matter of adjusting for your partner and meeting halfway. This is not about extreme jealousy..... But simply because it's not right, and I'm not trying to be so idealistic.
It's very simple and I hope I'm not asking for too much. All I wish for is that he wouldn't do anything that he knows would hurt me because I can't even begin to think doing something that would even upset him to say the least. He means so much I'm being so very careful of my actions and what I say... On a lighter note, I'm just so happy NOW of what I have.
He is still my utmost source of happiness, my better half, my life.
though sometimes I wish he'd be a lot sweeter and more affectionate.
a lot of things are going inside my mind. the things I wish I'd be doing together... Like travelling to different places, trying out new things like scuba diving, riding a hot air balloon hahahahaha!, getting a place of my own, going to Mass together, etc. LOTS of things... And I'm working on it, trust me!
How far can I go for this relationship? Ever knew how far manila from the moon Triton? How far can you go? Honestly I have no idea... All I know is that I seriously like him so much, no one could ever fathom but only "I".
How far can you go for someone? . . .
I got home around 5:30pm I received another text from Henry asking me if we could tag along Brit so he can get to Galera just in time for his set on Friday. I wasn't sure what to reply since I did not know who will be in charge of the transportation of our group. I texted Red if we could take Brit to Galera. So we did.
Thursday... Brit came to the house by 1:30am. We stayed at my room till Red and Dale came. 2:30am Brit and I went to downstairs, just in time that Red and Dale to come.
We got to the Pier at 5ish Dale was going ballistic because of Mark not coming on time. I have one thing to say about Dale, he is what I say, "A Mouth Full of Impoliteness".
We arrived the island at 10ish I think, had breakfast and proceeded to our 1st day activity. We went snorkeling. Then we ate lunch in an Italian restaurant located in another island. After that late lunch we all went back to the Hotel to rest.
We had our dinner then had drinks at Zanzi. and of course after cocktails Red and I had to party with Stacy.
Friday... We woke up just in time for our trip to the tamaraw falls. But then this Jeremy guy wanted to go to another one which was the Tunkuran falls one hour away from the 1st one. So far so good they decided to just stay there.
As soon as we went back to the hotel we had to take our beauty rest. I was going to but Mother Henry came to visit... Henry was so drunk didn't even remember that he didn't bring his slippers hahaha...
12:30am we went to Zanzi to support Brits set. Of course we had to be with Stacy again. Since its Reds last day on the Island.
Saturday... I didn't sleep well that morning because I thought about Red leaving that day and wouldn't want to be there to see him leave. That afternoon Brit came to come with me to go sun bathing but he was invited by Jeremy to join their Banana Boat ride.
I did'nt want to go banana boating because I wasn't really in for that. Instead I went sun bathing by myself with amesia. During sun bathing I felt like I was going to crash already thought about things that I was not supposed to think about. After an hour under the sun I've decided to go back to the hotel to sleep. Josh walked me to the hotel because he wanted to partake on the remaining shrums that I had. Josh left then a few minutes the rest of the gang came. I went to the end of the garden facing the beach. I was looking at the beauty of the island. Then all of a sudden this song played. It was shinning star. I couldn't stop myself feeling the song. It was such a beautiful song. I never really thought of it as the song that's right for me. I felt my eyes where getting heavy. Tears where rushing down my cheeks. It was time for me to leave for a while and just be alone, I decided to just play I was alright. I told them I was going to get a drink at Zanzi's.
On the way to Zanzi... I saw friends of mine. I just completely ignored them and continue walking. When I got to Zanzi's. I saw Marguex, Tootsie and Danilo and Lotto, drinking on the bar. I sat near them and ordered a margarita. After two glasses of margarita's there was this straight couple who knew me from government and offered me to drink with them because they saw me drinking by myself. I got so drunk and just decided to go home to take a power nap before dinner. Surprisingly Red called, asking me to to get Stacy as a party mate.
I was so happy when I heard from him that he's not leaving anymore. Thank you very much for giving me this opportunity to be with you again. It really meant so much to me. So once again we parteed the night away.
Sunday... Sunday morning was spent dancing and story telling with Red and his love life. It was another one of those one on one conversations that I love. It was another chapter of "Intimate Conversations with Charles". We did not have enough time though because we needed to get our stuff ready for the check out and we had to also wait for the boat to come to pick us up.
The time came that I needed to go back to reality... On the way home Red was driving, I didn't know what to tell him since that I felt I have lost all of my brain cells. I've never felt so empty and lost of words to say. We'll manage. hahaha.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Monday, April 2, 2007
Today... Woke up at 8am. After a 11 hour hibernation. I'm in Tagaytay now doing our monthly inventory of supplies. Then proceeded to my weekly round of the house.
I've never experienced pain as in "PAIN" all over. My right foot, the index and the middle finger is numb. Both of my legs, hips and spine hurt like crazy. It feels like I went to a marathon with my Manolo Stiletto.
The Other Day... Was preparation galore. I woke up just in time to be really fresh I left the house at 6pm to go to my make-up appointment. Qua of Shu Eumura. Such a fantastic make-up artist. Very artistic.
That whole night was all about glamour, beauty, and being called a real fashionista. I'm so proud to be part of that exclusive fashion event. Bam, Mamita, Henry, Josh, and Jhon we did it again. I'm so happy.