Thursday, September 10, 2009


There is a chance that my review of this bar/club is tainted by the fact that I have worked there on two occasions and in two different capacities: 1. As a original queen in 1990-1996 for like 5 months, 2. As an original for like 7 months. So first off, let's not do this "It's the only place for the gaysians to kick it" bullshit. This place is FAR from politics. It's actually located in Bobby Trendy's gay-ass bunghole. The Web isn't a place "we call our own." It isn't a locale of solidarity and brother/sisterhood. It's literally a hole in the ground--and I mean, you have to walk down a flight of stairs to get inside. This is a place where the gaysians are doing whatever it takes to nab the best looking white man. Here is a place were being HYPER-cunty and HYPER-competitive is what to expect. And if a gaysian is stupid enough to bring his rice queen boyfriend there, then watch him become a lioness and rightly, become territorial and mean. Again, this is what we do to each other, so if you're not Asian, this place might just well be a hoot!

The first thing you will notice is that it's a dump. It's not wretchedly decrepit or in need of the housing authority to condemn the space, but when you walk in, you say to yourself, "Oh! What a dump!" Though I can see how people--especially if you lived through the late '70s and early '80s--would really like the place. It has the feel of an underground 1970s lounge where guys would boogie in Bass Weegens and comment on each other's mustaches and crotches. The tiles on the floor are probably from that era in fact. Now don't get me wrong, I know for a fact that this place has gone through renovation, but dag, change the floor tiling!

On the floor below, there is a cage and a small stage with a mirror backdrop, which you can see from the floor above because the first subfloor is actually like a mezzanine to the second subfloor. The stage reminds me of a hustler "cafe/bar" that I went to in Bangkok once where all these DISGARSTING, old white sex tourists in search of "boys" where fulfilling their orientalist fantasies.

On the weekdays, the strippers do their thing on the stage and cage. It's sad. In retrospect, I am glad that the mirror background wasn't there when I was stripping there, because I might have gone homicidal. But yes, the strippers are friendly (durrr!) because THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE if they want more or better tips! In my day, I worked the room so well that I was one of the best tipped drag queens of all. The last time I was there, a stripper was so hard up on my jock, he followed me around the bar.

Relatively speaking, the drinks at The Web are cheap. Top shelf drinks don't exceed $10, but ghettorrifically, many are served in plastic cups. PLASTIC CUPS!!! I mean, are we at a church picnic or something?! But they don't make anything special. The Web won't be considered in Time Out New York or New York magazine's best of editions for their mixology.

So who and why would anyone go here? Well the answers lies in the clientele: gaysians and the men who like gaysians. Anyone else there is for a sociology project.

Vlada NYC

OMG! finally visited this place with friends, came in around nine PM, right after the happy hour. It was pretty empty. decided to stay for a while and in about an hour, by 10 the people started to come in. the most beautiful guys , I mean GORGEOUS!!! bY 10:30-11 the place was packed with awesome people. I saw the winner of the Top Model competition come in with an entourage, many familiar faces from the broadway scene, etc. what really blew me away was the flavored vodka! You must try the cranberry or peach martini!!! they have about 15, but I will try the rest on future visits. this place is a gem! I am a true fan! will make sure all my friends check it out. the place is sooo hot, they even have an ice bar to keep the drinks cold.