Just A Thought...and A Real One!

Have you ever noticed a puddle of water on the street?...


Its usually pretty nasty. You are not generally moved to go over there and take a sip from it. I think we have a primal understanding that water that is not flowing is bad water. You are much more likely to drink from a flowing stream than a puddle of water on the side of the road.


I sort of equate the idea of flowing water to being "alive" and living. When something is dead, it no longer moves and no longer serves a function in the cycle of the system. When something dies, it becomes debris that needs to be washed away so that it can become part of the cycle again.


Circulation of money works in this same principle noh? We want an economy where the money moves around and generates a healthy flow. Japan had been in trouble a few years ago because people would store a lot of money in savings and then never spend it. Its economy wasn't flowing.. its flow hindered by the hoarding of money into private stockpiles. thus the value of money really lies in rate of flow of its movement from one party to another. The money itself has no intrinsic value, however, the ability of money to facilitate transations and exchanges is why it is valuable to us.


So then i would conclude, your money is only as valuable as you manage and use it because simply having a lot of it doesn't do you a lot of good unless you are using it wisely. In the same way, I could apply this analogy to life and emotional patterns. if you do the same exact thing for your entire life, then it gets stale and boring. We may not notice this because of our greed to hoard more and more stuff narrows our vision. Maybe first i do business to make money to have a better lifestyle, but then out of greed I start to just make more money to make more money. Or maybe i could be someone who wants to be liked by others so I direct my life in a way that so that i surround myself with peole that say "yes" to me all the time. (FYI I'm not really talking about myself here! just making theoretical points about the power of greed in our lives).


However, those who live more rewarding lives are people who stay aware of the greater flow around them, and move with it. Even if we are so busy running around, do we stop to notice we are running around in a circle? We create the illusion for ourselves that we must be going somewhere because we are running so fast and we can feel the wind blowing on our faces. I then take a step back and give myself a reality check to see if in fact, i'm just running around in a circle.


In a way that's sort of like moving around but not really going anywhere. Not quite as bad as stagnant water, but its pretty much the same thing. Its time for me to stop treading water, and start swimming for real.

Unresolved Issue

Yeah, so I'll post tonight instead of tomorrow morning at work, as I have stuff I should do right when I get to work. Bleh.


I'm tired of a dark cloud hanging over me; I feel like I've moved on very far from a month ago, and even further than 2 months ago, but I feel stagnant and unable to move any more because of this dark cloud. As if I have gone as far as I can in this storm, and I just want out of it and onto those sunnier times, hopefully with you as a small part of my life.


This unresolved friendship--the anger, the mistrust, the communication issues, the hurt, the pain, among other things--where your friendship was in my heart, now is loneliness and nothingness that will always be there while you are away. I know we can do better than we did; we know what worked and what didn't; we both allow me to build that trust. I won't disappoint you. I know I've said this all before, I just need to get it off my chest occasionally, so to the two of you that read (and obviously not the ones that need this), thanks for putting up with that paragraph. hehe


Current Mood: Happy, but sick of the rain from this f-ing dark cloud
Current Music: Saves the Day - Tomorrow Too Late (concert?)

My Thoughts about TOMORROW...

Tomorrow is Not Promised... Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there. They serve some sort of purpose, or help figure out who you are and who you want to become.



You never know who these people may be; your neighbor, a child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles. You would have never realized your potential strength, will power, or heart.



Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses, or relationships life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.



The people you meet who affect your life. And the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are and even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.



If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart? If someone loves you love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening up your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count; Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can For you may never be able to experience it again.



Talk to people you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love. Break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, no one will believe in you either. You can make of your life, anything you wish.



Create your own life And then go out and live in it live each day as if it were your last Tomorrow...

D'AUDITOR's of Philippine Charity Foundation

Today I just recieved a sms message saying:


"D'AUDITOR's of Philippine Charity Foundation nform u dat ur Celfon no. Won Php950,000.00 2nd prize Winner draw last: AUG/03/07 Pls Call Me Now I'm ATTY.JOEY G. CHUA"


Sender:+639063727715


I called them because I thought it was just friends of mine who are just picking on me. But when I spoke to a person she sounded like she was someone who never knew English can be a second language and she was telling me that the ATTY. Chua guy was on a board meeting.


I asked her if they had a website where I can check about their foundation. All she said was "Philippine Charity Foundation".
I then checked out http://sec.gov.ph there was no such thing as a foundation listed on that name.


So to all of you out there... Here's what I have to say... Who ever thought of the name "D'AUDITOR's Philippine Charity Foundation". Honey... he must be really tacky and ugly. Imagine giving a name D'AUDITOR's... Darling if your reading this get a secretary who can speak English at least just to cover up for your tacky name. Period! Over and Out!

Now It's Your Turn

When Peter Pan saw Tinkerbell again after quite some time, he asked "Why did you have to go away for so long?"


Tinkerbell replied: "YOU NEVER GAVE ME A REASON TO COME BACK. I was always there when you needed me.. But i guess you never showed how important I am to your life.. NOW IT'S DIFFERENT, AND NOW WE'VE CHANGED... BUT I'M STILL SMILING..."


Peter pan then asked her why?


Tinkerbell replied: "I myself don't know the reason. It's just that now... IT'S YOUR TURN TO MISS ME..."

Opposite Of Love

A philosopher said that hate is not the opposite of love. hating your ex doesn't mean that you don't love him anymore. The fact that you're giving him such intense emotions means that he has an effect on you and he is still worth your attention.


Apathy is the opposite of love. You can only say you've fallen out of love when you no longer care what he says or does.


So, how can you stop love? Unfortunately, you can't. Love dies on its own. you'd just wake up one day and realize you're over him. Don't suppress and it will come naturally.

Cannot Connect With Sync?!

Chapter I... I Know I haven't been around much as I used to. Well simply I've been so busy with training in my new job. "Super fucking career shift to the Nth level". Before I could never imagine myself working for a "Call Center!" But you know what?! I have to say this, its not easy to work in a call center. Too much demands, way too much... Hello?! after two months of training long ours on the phone resolving issues, I could not even imagine I can...

My first and a half months at work was exciting. Orientation was interesting... It was three days of attitude, confidence, owning the company, what is the company, who is the company, etc. etc.

Chapter II... Was "Pre-process" Hmmm this was fun... It was English only policy, I can live with that! It was just like going back to school taking English 101 with Jason our fabulous trainer. Learning about the Italian A's and ahh's. Passed the exams the mock calls and I even danced the Conga! when we lost the games hehehe...

Chapter III... Was "Product Training" first day was relaxed. I guess the trainer Jeff was feeling the class. The second day we had a quiz, but the third day... Oh my gosh honey it was like super dooper information overload as in "FATAL" I felt like I was having a nose bleed. Imagine shoving all computer information, info's about email, kinds of modems, routers, yahoo issues, the connection from the server to the DSLAM, the status of the modem lights, kinds operating systems, browsers, ipconfig, connection problem in "General". Honey too many to mention... All of these I learned at product training... In fairness I met someone during our charades with "wave 12" Badong what an ER name. Well as usual I asked him for his number. Hey you know me?!...

Chapter IV... was a week with James at nesting... I admit it I over reacted and gave so much bad attitude towards the trainer... Hello he was so annoying that he always asks questions about sync and authentication, and even embarrassed me in front of the class. I was not really feeling well that night, I was actually feeling like I was getting down on something. The next day I was really feeling sick I mean having fever. I called the attendance hot line called in sick... But then I figured if I skip one day I would be joining the next class.

Fine!!! I got up and went to work with a fever... It was time for class and James was in the mood for recitation of course I was his apple of the eye. He asked me a question about "Sync and Authentication" I answered but could not explain further. He kept on giving me problems about "Cannot connect with sync using a 2 wire modem!" over and over until I snapped and "STOP this is me?! Can I go out for a while?!" I was so pissed off felt like if I didn't say that I will say awful things about him being a homophobic homo! Walk out of class took a walk and spoke to Jelly my team leader friend it was a sudden burst of emotion.

After a few minutes went back to class feeling OK and less irritated James did not asked me anymore questions... I know he was just doing his job. He called for a 20 minute break. During break I saw James sitting at Starbucks smoking... I asked Paolo, "Do you think I should talk to James about what happened earlier?" Paolo said "Nah do it next time". But then I said to myself I have to resolve this issue. Confidently I came up to him and said. "Hi James, I'm sorry on how I acted earlier." It was uncalled for... I explained my side, he explained his. At least now he knows how stressed I am and he respects me now.

Just A Commercial Break... Much to my surprice before going home, I met up with Badong at the elevator. I just smiled at him and said my usual Hello's. As soon as I got off he went ahead of me. I walked out of the building took a cigarette from my bag and went outside the lobby. Well I saw him talking to his collegue hmmm. As usual I needed to smoke 1st and chit chat with collegues before I proceed home. When I was going to give him a glance he came up to me and said: "Charles... Hindi mo naman ako tinetxt eh?! Not even once! (Charles... How come your not texting me?) I said: "Hello I always do your the one who doesn't text. Isn't this your number?!" I showed him my phone. He said: "You got the last number wrong?!" He corrected it. and I said OK thanks see you around. Kilig factor?!

Going back anyway, where was I? Our last two days with James was actually stressful... We already took real calls. All of my calls where shitty... When I say shitty it means really bad... But then business as usual. I hated doing the calls I didn't really like it at first but I just have to get used to it. Our last day with James was actually just the introduction part informational and part actual of the real training.

Another Commercial Break... One day I was doing my laundry at Nebs apartment. Because we went to tagaytay for dinner and went back to manila the same night on the way to tagaytay I was texting Badong about thoughts of him hehehe. He replied and said he was watching a movie with a friend. Fine... When we came back from Tagaytay I texted him to let he know I am back... He replied back but unfortunately I've already fallen a sleep. The next day I was actually doing my laundry. Anyway he asked me If I had plans for tonight I said not really then he asked me to watch a movie to see Harry Potter ahhh Hmmmm... I dont know what to say... OK lets watch a movie so we did... Kilig Factor... He picked me up at 7:30pm we had dinner and then coffee and then to Malate then back to CGS. It was so much fun... *Giggles...

Chapter V... with the SME's from India... Chirag, Afgan, Mortaza and Naval. Our foreign trainors for "Extended Nesting" Three weeks of calls and up training. Chirag looked like "Doding Daga" every time there was a discussion or in call center term "Up-training" Charlie and I would always have our giggles at the back bench of the class. He never really stayed with us because he was transferred to wave 14.

Afgan was OK... Indians? I guess they like gay people constantly flirting but cheap in many ways. I learned so much from Afgan... Hello?! before I hated taking calls... Now I am actually addicted to it. hahaha Imagine that. Before I always throw shade at people talking about modems during break. Now I am the first one to actually talk about it. hehehe Naval and Mortaza... the I1 and I2. Always together... Naval was really nice and patient. He trained me all the way. It took me 7 QA's (Quality Assurance) before I actually passed.

Last Commercial Break... I went to the office early because I was going to meet Neil at Starbucks. Then fine I thought about Badong... I got him something from Starbucks a Turkey sandwich and a double chocolate chip cookie for his lunch break... Sweet?! I gave it to him when he got in... He said Awww thank you... Hey lets have lunch later ok?

OK he asked me out for lunch that's nice... 3am it was time for lunch. I was actually going to take my lunch. I texted him and said "Hey do you want to have lunch now?" He replied and said in 30mins". So I said ok I guess I'll take another call. So I did took a call... The call lasted more than 30mins. Oh shit! Badong texted me and said he was going to take his lunch and we'll see each other at Starbucks... I finished my call and there was just 15mins left to his break and he had to go back to work... Completely Flattering... He actually waited for me to go down and he was also willing to wait for me till I finished my meal. *Sigh...

Tonight I will be in production... In the real world no more Up-Training, no more last calls, and definitely no more call avoidance's. Tonight is actually my 1st day as a real "AT&T Technical Support Agent". Wish me luck?!

Just a Thought...

worry wastes your precious time,
resentment destroys your effectiveness
and anxiety drains your energy. a
peaceful mind, on the other hand, puts
you firmly in control and out of the
reach of the world's negative distractions.


empty your mind of the stressful
thoughts and peace will fill the space
left behind.

Yesterday, Today, and the Other Day...

Yesterday... Or should I say "Last Night" we went to Trinoma this new Ayala land development in Quezon City. I was with Jeff and Jeffy. I was not really in a going out mood because I didn't get enough sleep due to super extreme partying... I was actually super crashing. I felt like I was so empty, as if I was a person who gave away all my energy, love, and emotions.


Last Night didn't really turn out bad. We met Henry, Jhon, Anna, and this "guy" who's a V.I.P at Palawan Disco bar. My best friend Henry gave me surprise gift... A 20 karat triangle divine divaness ring... All of the emptiness and sadness were gone. And was filled with joy and happiness. "Thanks Henry!"


After our intimate conversations by the Trinoma park watching people go back and forth in front of us. hahaha... We decided to go for dinner... We went to Silla this Korean restaurant to celebrate the opening of Gay Pride "Sanctuary of Love".


After dinner we went to Palawan... To see whats going on. The drag show was OK except for the super censored one Eww... Guess who else was there, and seated near the stage... It was the fashion director hahaha...


Today... I went home at 3:00am Jeff and Jeffy dropped me home. I fell asleep instantly... Woke up at 1:30pm just in time for breakfast. I was just planning to check my multiply but then just decided to blog all of my thoughts and happenings in my life.


The Other Day... It was effortless hehehe... Jhon Ogayon made me this white and gold empire cut evening gown. The performance together with the Hot Legs... Hmmm it was interesting.


http://governmentchildren.multiply.com/

Crashing Moments... Part II

What if I come to the end of my life and realize that I'd spent everyday watching for a man who would never come to me? What an unbearable sorrow it would be, to realize I'd really tasted the things I'd eaten, or seen the places I'd been because I'd thought of nothing but waiting even while my life was drifting away from me.


And yet if I drew my heart back what life would I have? I would be like a dancer who had practiced since childhood for a performance I would never give.

Thought's About Gay Pride...

Live your life in a manner that best suits you. Weather you are IN and OUT of the closet is not really that important anymore. What's important is, you have accepted who you really are, and live a decent and productive life which you don't intentionally step on others in order to reach your goals and personal happiness... hahaha (Diba redundant!)


Because in the end, a person will not be remembered for being a homosexual nor a heterosexual but by the way he lived his life, and the positive influence it had on people...


NOTE: Sorry for the incorrect grammar and incorrect sentence structure... *Giggles... I wasn't thinking right! Happy Gay Pride Everybody!!!! See you at GOVERNMENT.

Just a Thought?!

How can we love people who do not seem to make things worth at all? Why do we become so numb caring for people whom at times do not even think of us in a day or two? Why do we let ourselves hurt and continue hoping for a love that makes us defenseless? And why do we prioritize these people who only choose us as options? Are these the reasons why sometimes in love, we end up losing ourselves?


Sad as it may seem, but that's reality...

Motherrr Has Spoken...

Beware of "CHEMICAL LOVE."


Being under the influence of alcohol, party treats, and the like can and will distort reality.Ahhhh.. the feeling of euphoria, of "LOVE", of ecstasy... What a feeling!!!


Abuse of any kind can be a danger to your physical being, but rarely do we talk about the consequences that the abuse can cause to our emotional state especially when it involves romance. Many of us have done it . I HAVE DONE IT -- Falling in love while being under the influence. Before we know it, we have committed ourselves to a relationship!! Then after the high is gone, are the feelings still there??? Reality check honey...


Beware of "CHEMICAL LOVE."


It is a golden rule NOT TO FALL IN LOVE while being under the influence. LOVE and CHEMICALS just do not mix! But LOVE based on reality and strenghtened by "real" challenges that couples face -- this is TRUE LOVE.
The same thing goes with friends. We need to have a reality check with the so called "friends" that we have AFTER the chemicals have subsided. I have a favorite quote: "Good friends ride with you in a Mercedes Benz, a GREAT friend will ride with you in a bus." Make sure your friends are there with or without chemicals, or with or without money.


I am not here to endorse chemical use because I am a firm believer in enriching your life first through inner happiness, self-acceptance, self-pride, and self-respect. Empower yourself first by focusing on your career, education, and your family. Focus on COMPLETING YOUR INNER SELF. Never depend on someone to COMPLETE YOU Coz it ain't happening childrennn. ONLY YOU CAN COMPLETE YOURSELF.


If you choose to use chemicals, that is truly YOUR BUSINESS. Just make sure you can afford it honey. BUT, before you even entertain "ROMANTIC LOVE" while being "chemicalized" (I just invented that word ), PINCH yourself in the ass first. Internalize and say to yourself -- THIS IS NOT REAL! 'Coz trust me.. IT AIN'T REAL.


Beware of "CHEMICAL LOVE."

To All Of You!

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it everyday. You may not realize it, but it's 99% ok fine 100% true.


1.) There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2.) At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3.) The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4.) A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5.) Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6.) You mean the world to someone.
7.) You are special and unique.
8.) Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9.) When you make the biggest mistake, something good comes from it.
10.) When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11.) Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.


Always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt, and call me over! Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.


"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"


I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.