Family Day

It was just this sunday that I finally spent it with my real family. Thanks to my brother Walter and his wife Rina and three kids, Harvey and my Mom. We talked about their plans for the holy week. I have no plans yet but I know my lost resort will be at Gallera.


I didn't go to the gym today since that it was Sunday. I wanted to go but my mind didnt so I guess I'll just go to bed early. Tomorrow will be a new day. Take care and stay clean...

Reunion

Last night was a blast... It was like a small reunion with really good friends, the original La Familia of Government. Last nights motif was just pure gov family. Most who came where the original pioneer ones. Laurence, Charles, Popie, and many more. Pure clean fun.

About Last Night...

I had a best night last night at Government I drank Vodka Redbull all night with my super dooper good friends Henry, my ex husband Brit, Jun Escario, Cacay Moras of M Cafe and her boyfriend Joey Server of Capones and of course the little imp "Josh". It was a night of Alcohol and Pepsi with something extra.


Thanks Baby... I had so much fun.

I.

I REFUSE TO WAIT FOR YOU ANY LONGER. There was a time in my life when I would have saved myself for you alone. In my heart no one else would do. I belonged to no one else but you. That isn't me anymore. My heart finally caught up with my brain and I finally saw that all of it was just nothing but fantasies. Dreams that only I wanted. There was no hope left for us. As each day passed, it became clearer to me that it was never meant to be. We were never meant to be.

II.

I REFUSE TO LIVE IN THE PAST. What we shared lives in the past, it doesn't control me any longer. Don't get me wrong, I will forever treasure it but I won't let it hold me back. I won't let it ruin who I was and who I am now. For a time, I almost forgot who I was without you. I'll never let that happen again. I won't ever lose myself again.

III.

I REFUSE TO FIGHT ANYMORE. For several weeks now, I've been fighting. I've been fighting for our friendship. However, no matter what I do, I seem to be losing. Whenever I feel as if I'm going to buckle down because of the pressure, the thought that somehow maybe you are fighting for us too kept me going. But weeks have passed, I haven't heard from you. Somehow I finally realized that I was the only one fighting. I was doing everything I could possibly can for someone who was and never will be mine.

VI.

I REFUSE TO LOSE HOPE. It may not be you. It may take me forever to find him, but I will. Tears have been streaming down my cheeks for too long but not anymore. I have learned so many things from all this. Things that I felt should have been taught to me some other less painful way but somehow I don't regret it. It made me stronger. It made me look inside myself and really see who I really am and not who I thought I was. Hope kept me going. The hope for better things to come, the same hope that one day I will finally be over you.


I'm not worried if I would be able to admire someone as much as I have admired you. I may even cherish someone more than I have cherished you. But I don't know if there's still someone who would adore you as much as I have adored you....

Last Night's Agenda...

I had dinner with a good friend last night in our new favorite restaurant CYMA a Greek resto located at Greenbelt II in Makati. We talked about a lot of things since that we needed to catch up on things that we didnt talk about during the week. After that dinner we walked around and he dropped me home.

Yesterday, Today, and the Other Day...

Yesterday... I was really amazed again, It was my first time to sit by the stairs of a building with a yogurt drink in the residential part of Makati, while waiting for our friends to come... I never thought of doing that. It was always done by meeting them in a cafe or at the lobby of the apartment. While sitting down, the feeling is just like summer in New York City at the stair way of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Sitting with a date and eating my poppy seed bagel with samon cream cheese and a battle of perrier spring water those days was just "Fantabulous!", two-in-one fantastic and fabulous at the same time. and I did that here, but in a different setting. Sweet but Amazing.


Today... I woke up just in time went to the office spoke to people and went to my luncheon. I just hate it when their late. I got home at 1:30pm. Had a conference with my super friends Mikee and Lawrence about matters from the heart. I feel empty so today... I guess I just parteed really hard time to hit the Spa.


The Other Day... I attended a party of Bebe Hernandez at Paseo Park View Makati with my Mamita. We both had a wonderful time except for the Bb. Pilipinas part headed by Amentia. Josh has done it again. Thats why we cant be in the same room together. After party was at Club Government. Strange! It wasn't really that packed. I guess the Charles Carpio story did it. That's ok atleast I we were there for the support. Everybody was looking for partee... Too bad Im the only one who can get some. hehehe

Thoughts about the Queen...

Last night I fitted all of my drag clothes that are all in my closet. I thought about not taking any effort what so ever on having a new outfit done for that specific event... I dont care if they say that what Im wearing is a rewind from the last event. I also thought about show on the 31st "Mother Wear's Prada... It might be the last one since I think its time for me to leave the Queen behind and embrace who I am now... As someone who goes to the gym everyday.


My Cousin Ryan said I cant do it... That even made me more stronger and willing to exert all the effort to be who I want to be...

I dont think this is a phase because I haven't felt so much determination in my life. Before I remember I tried to work out, but did not continue I couldn't stand the pain. Now it has been four consecutive days I've been in and out of the Health Club and actually enjoying it. Thats why I said I never felt so determined in my life. So I will really make it on this one. Wish me luck...

Tonight's Agenda

I had dinner with family at the Old Swiss Inn fallowed by wine tasting at a gallery in Malate. It was super fun...

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Finally I had the power to start redecorating my room. It is such a hassle every time I have my friends over. My room always looks like a stock room of all of my things.

I have already conceptualize the new look of my room. I want it to be very different, a lot of interesting things to see, very artistic and has to have a lot of life.

As you can see the window it used to be plain looking. Its very sunny, since I have the morning sun. I've placed carton planks on my window preventing too much of the morning sun. Giving my room a much less light. "Good for you know what I mean." hehehe.

Also adding a concept wall as my masterpiece. I'm going to have a party soon as soon as its OK for viewing don't worry... hehehe

My Thoughts For My Best Friend...

Sometimes we are in love with the idea of falling in love. Loving the illusion of having or missing someone. Its alright to be happy for other people, but dont get dependent on achieving happiness by being with someone.


Love yourself first before sharing yourself to somebody because if you dont, you will always look for the people that you think can make you complete and in the end, it will make you lose yourself more bit by bit. Piece by peice.


I love you Rommel... Im just here for you.